


Whispers

by Jessa5527



Category: K-pop, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, F/M, Falling In Love, Forbidden Love, Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, Idol Jeon Jungkook, Idol Jung Hoseok | J-Hope, Idol Kim Namjoon | RM, Idol Kim Seokjin | Jin, Idol Kim Taehyung | V, Idol Min Yoongi | Suga, Idol Park Jimin (BTS), Lust
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-09-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:08:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 41,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26116945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jessa5527/pseuds/Jessa5527
Summary: Ive had this idea for a while.Friends with benefits but he wants more.Ive written it in a way it could be "any" of the guys[no names]
Relationships: Bangtan Boys Ensemble/You, Jeon Jungkook/Reader, Jeon Jungkook/You, Jung Hoseok | J-Hope/Reader, Jung Hoseok | J-Hope/You, Kim Namjoon | RM/Reader, Kim Namjoon | RM/You, Kim Seokjin | Jin/Reader, Kim Seokjin | Jin/You, Kim Taehyung | V/Reader, Kim Taehyung | V/You, Min Yoongi | Suga & Reader, Min Yoongi | Suga/You, Park Jimin (BTS) & Reader, Park Jimin (BTS)/You
Comments: 10
Kudos: 58





	1. Whispers

I was in trouble. 

Not even the good kind of trouble; but the kind you dread and never want to happen. 

Most people however would kill for the chance. 

*

It was a normal trouble free evening, debauchery concluded and the two of us lie naked and out of breath in the aftermaths of our makings. 

He was sweaty and sticky, and ourselves still on a high. He smiled and giggled in the most adorable way as I moved my leg slightly, accidentally rubbing his leg.

"Lets lay together." He suggested in a whisper to my ear as I got comfortable beside him ready to experience my descent back to Earth. His arms naturally wrapped around me and we lay for seconds, maybe minutes, and the world revolved around us. His words meant nothing as I followed, my body and mind in ecstasy and at that point I didn't have to give him up. 

I slowly opened my eyes as time seemed to settle, his beautiful eyes meeting mine. We both smiled. 

"Hi." He said. 

"Hi." I answered. I blinked twice, running my eyes over his face and hair and turned slightly to get up. 

He held me tighter. 

"Just wait." He whispered again, and I relaxed quickly in his grasp. "Just a few more minutes." 

"Why are you whispering." I whispered at him. He loostened the grip on me and settled beside me. He never opened his eyes as mine attempted to stare through his soul. 

"Im not." He said deeply in a voice so deep I had never heard it. 

"Stop." I laughed, burying my face into his arm then deciding to rest my head on his shoulder while we lay there together. 

For the first time of togetherness after the fact, I would admit it was nice. Maybe he was doing this to get a tiny taste; but I knew feelings between us were off limits. This - was feelings to me. He had instigated and the longer he held the quicker I wanted to bail. His status meant he was unattainable, and while I knew and understood this - he seemed to as well.

"I don't want you to leave." He whispered. 

I froze in the darkness. Bad. This was bad. And again, with the whispering. 

"I need to go." Was the best my brain could conjure up however my body did not attempt to move. He didn't attempt to leave either and that was stirring up all sorts of things. He was supposed to be the level headed smart one! Not me! Dammit!

"Just wait." He said normally. He didn't squeeze as I was loosly lying in his arms. 

All I could do was stare at the clock for the 4 minutes. The longest 4 minutes of my life. 

We dressed silently, awkwardness now filling the room as unspoken words of caring floated amongst us. 

"What are you doing for the holiday?" He asked the wall without looking at me. 

"Enjoying the time off." I answered truthfully. "My sister was trying to come but I am unsure." 

"Well I have some days off during." He finally turned towards me. 

"Well just call." I shrugged wanting to leave. Why couldn't I dress faster? I could take it off quickly but I needed to practice to quickly put it back on. He nodded an acceptance to my statement and he stood once I stopped at his mirror. 

Another time I dread is this fake smile he puts on when I leave. I curse myself for putting myself through it. I always tell myself no but the second he calls or texts, I'm back where I started with no seeiming way out. 

"Alright be safe." He warmly reminded as I lingered inside his front door not quite ready to embark into the cold. He loved it. He would go outside shirtless sometimes and it would be snowing. He was crazy sometimes. 

"You too. Get some rest." I smiled the normal smile and then he flashed his fake one. 

"Thanks." He nodded. 

An awkward moment lingered as we stared and I broke for the door. 

The moment I got to my car I broke down. 

I decided at that moment, I wasn't going to see him again.


	2. Shiver [Ch. 2]

I drove in anticipation singing along to the song on the radio. I didn't speak to him for a while - the next time he texted me I actually ignored it.

The first day of ignoring him he was fine.

The second day; he was not.

-*

My phone vibrated silently beside me on the couch and an unidentifed caller stared back at me. Ive never answered one and I wouldn't start now. I went back to my tv show I was half into; and it rang again.

I put the phone on silent.

I checked the phone twice, checking to see if perhaps my mother or a friend was the one calling. No voicemail was left - but I wouldn't have listened to it anyways. I was starting to worry... trying to check off friends and family in my head.

The third time I saw it flash, I picked up.

"Hello?" I disguised my voice as I spoke and cringed to myself at how I sounded.

"Hey." He laughed at my greeting.

My heart dropped at the sound of his voice. It wasnt that I had forgotten he could call, I had just forgotten he could call ... me.

"Oh hey." I repeated his words nonchalantly settling my back against the couch, wishing I had gone the "Who is this?" route.

"How are you?" He questioned after a moment of silence. I guess he realized he called me.

I smiled to myself, he seemed embarrassed at first to speak to me over the phone. This wasn't the first time he had called; but this was the first time he had ever asked me that question. Normally quick and to the point; the small talk was sending messages I didn't care to answer.

"Watching a cooking show." I grinned truthfully. "I'm on episode 3 and there are 8." I explained wondering if he even had any idea or care about it.

"Hmmm." He hummed lowly into the line and I got my answer. I sighed silently knowing what was coming next. "Well you should come over." He suggested.

"I can't." I said uninterested. "My show." I glanced at the TV and had missed enough to know I needed to pause.

"What if I came over?" He spoke over my receiver and my breath hitched. My eyes searched the room for an answer as I clutched my remote in one hand and the phone in the other.

Pause.

This was happening quickly. He spoke my name and I crashed to reality quickly.

This was new. He has never once wanted to come to my place. My domain, my world. He wanted more and I knew this but was determined to follow the rules no matter how fucked up this entire situation became. But the rules didn't have to answer to him most times; only me. I couldn't comprehend what was happening.

"I dunno." I mumbled, setting the remote down beside me on the pillow. "I ..no." I decided quietly - yet he heard.

"Then come over here." He complained in a childish whine. I was being rude now; yet slowly giving in as he slowly beat down my walls with his adorable relentless persistance.

I never would be able to say no, we both knew that, but he also knew I was fighter. I was scared to death to break his heart and vice versa. My heart was already broken. I had to keep his heart whole. This was just sex, we weren't supposed to have crushes or feelings. Just two adults doing what adults did best.

"Please?" He begged and could hear the arrogance in his voice. He had won, I wasnt going to argue anymore. I didn't put up much of a fight this time.

"When my show is over." I decided and he groaned.

"You said it has eighteen episodes." He argued and I again smiled followed by a laugh.

"Eight." I corrected gently with a smile. "I just started this one and have 42 minutes left." I read off the time from the cable guide.

I imagined him whining, silently flailing his arms about wherever he was. He loved to act like a deprived child sometimes.

"I am coming there." He said suddenly, then the line went dead. I set the phone down beside me returning to the show.

37 minutes later there was a knock at my door.

"Fuck!" I yelled clutching the remote as they were about to kick off another contestant, and I paused the show in the heat of the moment and stomped to my door. Of all the people I expected to see in my peep hole ... he was the last I imagined. Yeah, he said he was coming over but I didn't think he would actually do it. 

"Shit." I panicked quietly, throwing the remote at my couch [and missing by a long shot] and finger combing my hair. I had no makeup on, and as I peeked through the hole again I whined to myself at how flawless he looked and how unflattering I seemed to look even when I put in effort. I smelled my new shirt just in case and swung the door open putting on my best smile. "How did you find out where I lived?" I demanded sweely, using my body to block his entry.

"They have files..." He blindly pointed down the hall and too the sky; myself suddenly remembering he was an idol and could get information he needed quickly. He pretended to type on a computer, himself laughing at his actions. "I found you!" He excitedly screeched and attacked me into my apartment.

I stumbled back with a laugh as I clutched onto him -he seemed to have better footing as he walked. He seemed in a wonderful mood today. It made me happy.

"Yes, you found me." I smiled shyly, walking towards my couch hoping he would get the hint to follow. He did.

"There are a lot of apartments in here." He said in a goofy manner as he followed and I grinned at him.

"I hope you knocked on a lot of doors tonight." I laughed.

"Just one." He smiled, extending a finger into the air, then that finger pointed at me.

I rolled my eyes.

This was not good. It was too cute.

"What brings you here?" I asked coyly as he finally sat down next to me on the couch, his eyes roaming around my apartment.

"Here?" He boasted to himself. "In this tiny apartment?"

"Yes yes." I laughed, and as he removed his black beanie off his head I exclaimed "Holy shit!" moments later, covering my mouth and pointing at his new brightly colored hair.

"Oh yeah." He complained to himself with a lucrative sulk as if he forgot his hair was neon. He put the beanie back on with a overdone frown; my smile meeting his actions. "I forgot." He shrugged with a grin.

My first instinct was to rip the beanie off his head.

We had never conversed this way, at all really, and I was very apprehensive about continuing. This was flirting. There was no need to flirt as I had already landed the dude. Sort of. I couldn't have him. Mountains of reasons why not; yet the tectonic shift sat next to me. I liked him, and he liked me but outside the walls where we were together ... we were nothing. It was heartbreaking.

We could only dream of nothing.

"It looks good." I stated truthfully, nodding at him, turning my attention to the TV. He didn't need reminding he was incredibly gorgeous. "I have to finish this and then we can go to your place or whatever." I shyed up and became embarrassed at the mentioning of the true reason of his appearance this evening. He could pretend all day long he wanted me to be his girlfriend; or have someone to like and love, but... there was difference between lust and love.

"Ah, the cooking show." He observed the TV and I laughed. I pressed play and within 10 seconds, they had eliminated someone. "Harsh." He commented.

"She couldn't bake the correct frosting for the cupcake." I reminded him, explaining what he missed. "They had to taste test it and she was the only one who picked whipped cream when it was cream cheese."

His eyes returned to the tv after I explained and he watched briefly before nodding. He turned his attention back to me and I blushed and became nervous. He had never been to my apartment, and even though I had had sex with him many many times, never once had one of those times been outside his own place. It was weird seeing him out of his element, and in mine.

"So how long have you lived here?" He asked, turning his head to glance around again.

"Three years." I answered. He looked beautiful, comfortable and had on dark denim blue jeans and I just wanted to take them off too.

I needed to get him out of my apartment.

"It's not that far." He narrowed his eyes at me and I shyly smiled looking away. Caught red handed.

"Did you drive here? Or take a car?" I asked.

"Car." He answered without looking at me. He was staring into my dining room.

Great. So I would need to take him home. "You like living here?" He asked and I turned to look at him.

I wasn't happy he was attempting small talk and he blushed so I knew he could tell. He knew what he was doing. He knew exactly what he was doing.

"I guess." I answered, standing off the couch suddenly and walking to the kitchen. "Do you need a ride? I have to go and get so-" I turned back to him while speaking and he was inches from me with a mischievous smile.

"Hm?" He taunted, and I was done for. My brain was shot, and he grinned continuing to move forward as I slowly stepped back. I tried to hold my have-him-leave power but his smile was overpowering and he was slowly cornering me against my kitchen counter as I held a glass I had picked up. "You have to go get to what?" He asked as I visibly gulped. I was now trapped, and stunned unable to think of a response. My heartbeat was beating through my ears. His cologne filled my nostrils and his eyes never once left mine as I struggled to remember how to breathe. "Why are you in a rush to go?" He questioned with a playful head tilt.

"Well." I managed to move the cup and set it down beside him like nothing had happened. "I have things to buy." I explained trying to clear the air.

"For your tiny apartment?"

"No." I laughed, none of us having moved an inch. He still blocked me and I still had my hand extended against the glass on the counter. "Stop that." I threatened. "Sequins." I laughed. "It's for my sister." I quickly explained once I saw his confused face.

"That sounds..." he paused looking away as if he was actually thinking about coming with.

"I have things to do." I said reasonably and rather quickly. He closed his mouth and turned, leaving me gasping for air quietly as he made his way to my couch. I hated how he took control of situations involuntary. I stood in the kitchen still holding my cup, filling it from the sink.

"I have to eat too!" I smiled from the sink as I turned to face him again.

"I haven't eaten." He stated matter of factly.

"Well I can bring you something." I pushed off from the counter and headed towards him. I had the upper hand, as this was my house.

"What I want to eat is already here." He crossed his arms and smirked at me on my couch and I halted in my steps but couldnt hide my flustered reaction.

"Im sorry." I laughed confused. I copied him as I stood akwardly crossing my arms. "I wasn't aware I was on the menu this evening." I retorted, then smiled proudly at my answer. If he had gotten up and came towards me I would have had to run back to the kitchen.

My body was hot and my brain was confused on why he was here.

He didn't answer right away and I watched him calculate his next words. I was starting to either make him mad, or make him glad. I couldn't tell what he was thinking or doing, everything about him at the moment felt dreamlike.

"Then I will wait here." He crosses his legs but settled in as he grabbed the remote and looked at it, then the tv then me. "How's this work?" He waved the remote around. I smiled at him as I walked to him, he held the remote out and I kind of wanted to hit him with it. I took it and plopped down next to him.

"I don't know what you are you doing..." I spoke with a gentle smile and he flashed a smile at me "But you can't stay here."

"Why not?" He pouted. I didn't have an answer for him as he pouted at me with his chocolate eyes and beautiful beanie clad face. He looked so innocent and he was my friend... his hypnotism was working and I wasn't even aware.

"You can't stay here." I said again, patting his leg and standing up to turn away. He whined my name as his arms wrapped around me, my kitchen disappearing from my view as be pulled me back down towards him.

We were too close for my comfort and bodies touching now on the couch. He had basically pulled me beside him, and as I froze and stared at him with an open mouthed shock face... he looked away.

He was testing me, his jaw hard as he figured out what he was doing to do next.

"Did something happen today?" I asked, laughing once his questioning eyes met mine. "Like at work or something?" I spun my hand in place as I appempted to talk with my nervous hands. "You are acting weird."

"I know." He sighed looking away defeated. "I think I am going crazy." He said to the air in a whisper. "I am going crazy." He said loudly with a stern look to me.

"Me?" I cried beside him. "I didn't do anything." I laughed. He didn't say much as he silently sat and I stared at him.

I wanted to ask what he was thinking about but I didn't dare. I wanted to ask why he seemed to want a girlfriend so bad.

"I think I missed you." He spoke and my eyes met him again. His cheeks were red, and he wasnt looking at me. Embarrassed to have missed someone. Embarrassed to have told me.

"You can miss me." I smiled, moving my body around a bit. "That's allowed." I nodded ... my rules flying out the window. I didn't want him to feel bad. It was easy to be mean and silly to him on the phone. Now was much different.

He inhaled deeply looking away. My answer was not enough. They were just meaningless words, forbidden words and thoughts we both constantly battled with.

"Want to know what I miss about you sometimes?" I smiled at him, resting my leg over his as I turned to look at him.

"What's that?" He questioned with a look, unsure of where I was going. I lowered my head as I decided what to say.

"Well I miss your smile sometimes." I started off slowly with a nod. "I miss your laugh a lot." I smiled as he took my hand. "I miss your face." I said quietly.

"This face?" He pointed at his own with my hand intertwined with his.

"That one." I smiled and removed the beanie. "I miss your dark hair." I smiled laughing and he ruffled his hair around, sending the neon colors in a dancing frenzy. "I miss a lot of things." I shrugged unable to continue the game of I Miss You's. I rested my head against his shoulder and we sat in silence.

"I miss this." He whispered, my hand attached to his hand moving again. "We need more of this." He proclaimed.

"Oh do we?" I asked still on his shoulder but took my hand away and let it rest in my lap. It was silent and honestly the world felt like it had stopped as he sat on my couch.

My stomach growled loudly and I lifted my head.

His giggling grin met my lips quickly. "Time to eat." He cooed into my neck as he took the oppurtunity to nibble on my neck as I threw my head back in laughter.


	3. 4 Letter Words [3]

I kept to my rule, able to shy away from sex in my apartment luring him back home with actual food and the food he seemed to be addicted to was the kind that only I could provide. I never would understand.

So there we lay, in his bed, naked and talking. I couldn't believe it; it felt like I was watching myself fall in love, or try to experience those things and yet I didn't understand and fought a lot of it. It was quiet, he was playing with the ring I had on the hand that was lying on his chest. This is the longest I had ever been around him. Touching him. Connected, or rather, connecting.

I was fascinated watching his hands play with my fingers and mindlessly move the ring. He was perfectly content like this.

"What are you singing?" I whispered, moving my head up a bit to look at him. He rose his eyebrows at me as if he didn't know he was humming out loud and I smiled, setting my head back how it was. "Don't stop." I laughed, my free hand tickling his side which caused him to jump and grab my hand.

"It's not really anything." He shrugged, guiding my hands back how they were. "Just noise." He whispered closing his eyes.

"Is that how you make music?" I whispered excitedly, looking up at him again. One eye opened and look at me, and he slowly smiled.

"No." His eye shut and he pulled me closer with a grin. "It's cute thay you think that though."

"Ugh." I complained fakely as he nestled me into his side again... I was doing everything in my power not to give him kisses on his chest that kept rising and falling in front of me.

Minutes passed as I stared around the blank canvas of his room, myself looking up at him.

"You better not be going to sleep." I whispered. He didn't move a muscle but I knew he was awake. "Hey" I gently poked him with my knuckle. More silence. I moved quickly, climbing up and rearranging my arm, plopping back down beside him. He barely opened his eyes to watch me fall down, I wasn't in his grasp anymore but I was beside him. I had to slowly do my part and leave. The big mission was over and my duty had been fulfilled. He was a hard one to leave. His collarbone was working magic on me and I had to remove my leg from his and crossed my feet under the blankets.

"What are you doing later?" He whispered into the room at me. I had no idea what time it was, after 9pm at least.

"Going home and going to sleep." I smiled at him. I couldn't help it as his eyes were closed, I reached out and moved his hair away from his face. It flowed perfectly to the side, and I smiled to myself as I slowly continued to play with it. I was drawn to it. My fingertips just lightly and lazily brushed and moved, he finally opened his eyes and I closed my hand careful not to poke his eyes.

"Was that a snarky statement?" He whispered with a smile. He kissed my nose as I muttered "No." "You should stay here."

The air around me stopped and focused in on him and he awaited my probable turn down. He had never suggested myself staying here - it did happen one time very early on - but he had to wake up very early and I didn't like being shuffled out of his apartment at 5am.

"I can't stay." I whispered back truthfully.

Two seconds later his eyes closed, and he pushed his head into the pillow. His neck cracked and I automatically grabbed his arm hearing the sound. He was the one who had to deal with it. I was already keen on leaving. He was angry, breathing heavily as he pouted in silence at our lives.

"I will stay for an hour, how is that?" I whispered before it even registered in my brain the effects it may cause him. He smiled widely, but the smile disappeared like the cruel reality we faced.

"If you stay..." He paused to lick his lips as he gained the courage, "we stay just like this." he finished in a whisper. He wasnt touching me, his fingertips lightly hitting my back. I draped my leg back over him and answered him with my body pressed against his side.

It dawned on me I had no idea where his restroom was. True to his word of "enjoying his desert" as "soon as he got home": I was again, entranced and swept away of the lustful activities that couldn't ever dare take place on the couch or the study. Always in his bed, like a true gentleman I liked to tell myself. I had used the restroom once, and so as I lay with him I made bets with myself on which door was actually the restroom.

Eventually I would have to ask; I quickly wondered if he would give me a tour of his apartment. He had started the humming again and I was enjoying silently. 

"Where is your restroom?" I asked quietly. His hand moved the blanket from underneath and I huffed.

"Over there." He said.

"Were you asleep?" I asked propping up quickly.

"No." He lied with a large grin. He placed one arm behind his head as I sat up, taking the blanket as my cover while I looked for a shirt.

"Okay." I smiled at him after putting on his shirt, the only one I could find within visible reaching distance. "Which door." I pointed behind me with my thumb as I rested my chin on my knee.

He pointed at the door and I was thankful the shirt covered up a majority of my ass, yet he still giggled as I tried to pull the shirt down as I walked, really just accentuating the curves as I walked.

I emerged from the restroom and he was sitting up now, and I was suddenly nervous to go back to the bed.

This was the time I normally left. I wasn't even here by this time. My legs slowly started back towards the bed, he was on his phone and didn't seem to notice or care when I carefully climbed back into the bed. I was unsure what to do, so I sat up with the blankets covering my legs. His foot his my leg and I turned to him.

"Did you ask to wear my shirt?" He smiled and I laughed, looking away for a moment as I prepared my comeback.

"Are you cold?" I gasped, my eyes glancing over his chest and abs, my bright eyes meeting his.

"A little." He laughed and I laughed at him. I went to take my shirt off, and he stopped me, and the next thing I knew the covers were over us.

"It's dark." I whispered unable to see his face. I moved my hand, which was around his arm, and felt my way to rest my hand on his neck. He was facing me, his knees in my stomach.

"Found you again." He whispered a few minutes later once our eyes adjusted to the extra dark and we were caught smiling at eachother.

"You did." I whispered back, my hand still resting on his neck. I was afraid to move, unsure of where his hands were and where my knees would hit. "What will you do now?" I asked quietly.

"Be like this." He answered quickly as quietly as I.

"We arent supposed to." I tapped his chin with my finger and flattened his lips. He didn't smile.

"This is what I'm supposed to be doing." He said moving his legs slightly. "With you."

I'm happy I couldn't see him clearly. His words had effects and even though my heart fluttered I kept having to remind myself it wasnt real.

"I miss your humming." I whispered suddenly and he grunted a disapproval loudly - causing me to laugh and smile.

"I wasn't humming." He reminded in a condescending tone.

"Yeah you were." I kissed his nose and he pushed the covers over our heads him revealing our smiles.

"You ruined the moment." He fakely frowned, then fiddled with the blanket. I rolled my eyes and placed my leg back over him, anchoring him to the bed.

"You were mistaken." I whispered kissing up his chin, heading to his mouth. "There was no moment." I kissed his lips then went to lie back down beside him.

"Uh." He lay still and ground his hips against my leg. His body created a moment. My body got excited.

"Uh what?" I asked, being bold and placing my hand on his stomach. I wiggled my fingers, and his breathing began to fluctuate at the mixed signals I was sending. His nipples perked back up. "Should we...." I was going to say make some memories but didnt have the chance as his lips sloppily crashed into mine.

I guess he got the idea.

*-

Days passed and things went back to normal.

He became unreachable, unresponsive and busy. He went back to work.

My world revolved around his; so I often debated if I should even continue. Now would be the perfect time to cut ties. It could be weeks, months before he contacted again; again for that one reason. I wondered if I should tell him to find another me; I often wondered this a lot. I felt like a huge waste of time when he wasn't around, and when he was around I was extremely nervous and shy about doing something wrong. I had honestly never had a boyfriend before but I knew he was yearning for more than just physical aspects completely confused on why it had to be me.

Exactly 3 weeks later, like clockwork late at night - I received the text. I wasnt expecting it and so as my phone buzzed impatiently on the table as I danced with my friend my world would come stopping quickly with a mention of a code name.

"Who's Maurice?" My friend asked and I stopped mid dance and looked at her. My phone was lit up below her on the table and she put her head on her chin as she gazed at me lovingly. "His dick is hard and he is mad at you." Her slender finger pointed down to the phone and it went back into a ball. The music pulsated around me, my thoughts trying to catch up.

I grabbed my phone and checked the message. Sure enough, vulgar texts. Very unlike the "hey whats up" texts I normally got.

"So who is Maurice?" She asked again raising her eyebrows in intrigue.

"A huge problem." I sighed looking at her with sadness.

"Sounds like he has a problem." She quipped with another point to my phone. "Do we like this problem?"

I asked myself drunkenly if I liked him.

"Yes." I answered honestly. "But I can't." I waved my hand around to end this conversation. "It's complicated."

"Is he foreign?" She asked. I thought about making up a whole story about him but didnt want too much of an extravagant lie. I've already had to lie, and will again to her and it pained me everytime.

Friends were always a rough issue. I sometimes wondered which friends would sell me out if they knew what I was doing. What I had done. Who would support me? Who wouldn't? I watched my friend sway and smile with the music and wondered which one she would be.

She liked his band, she would sell me out I decided.

"Maurice is persistent." She laughed an hour later at the glance of his name when he texted again. She wasn't reading the messages.

"He's cranky today." I automatically answered as I focused on typing out a logical excuse on why I couldn't come over.

I was drunk. This was my logical excuse.

He wasn't taking my drunken revelation well.

"You are very concentrated." She noted. When my eyes met hers she mimicked me typing on my phone with my tongue out.

"I have to turn him down today." I let her in on my drunken secret. Her eyebrows rose as she nodded, leaning back. She was looking at me. "Today." I returned to my phone for the turn-down.

"When can I meet him?"

"You cant." I sighed. "He's busy." I shrugged and she made a face at me.

"I can drop you off." She suggested with a smile.

"No you can not." I fakely smiled in her same tone.

"Is he married?" She whispered.

"Yes." I whispered back. "Stop talking about him." Another wave of my arm.

-*

I woke up with the need to go to the restroom, and jerked my head back when his smell filled my nose.

"Shit." I whispered looking around his bedroom.

What the fuck? I looked beside ne and he was sleeping soundly - boxers on, and I had every peice of clothing on that I left the house with. Including my socks. I dashed to the restroom and dashed back to stand beside the bed.

I slowly slipped my pants down and stood still debating.

"Come on." He groaned, his arm sliding over my vacant area.

"Are you awake?" I whispered as I climbed in, himself covering me and pulling me close. I had tons of questions - how did I get there? Why didnt I go home? Why am I such an idiot? Why was he so hot all the damn time?

"No." He said against my temple and I got chills. I groaned a dissatisfied noise and he smiled, kissing the same temple.

"Where is my phone? I have to work tomorrow."

"You already set your alarm." He said quietly. "You made me set it to 5:58."

This lifted stress as this was the time I woke up.

"Is it off silent?" I asked suddenly a few minutes later. He jumped slightly and I woke him again, and I felt bad.

"I lied, you are calling in." He laughed to himself and turned over.

-*

5:58am

The alarm buzzing jolted myself and sleeping beauty awake. He turned it off as quickly as I could - thankfully my phone was on his nightstand and was a quick kill of noise.

I groaned at the non existant light and held my aching head.

"Hurry up and call in." He said, my phone pressing into my arm. I grabbed my phone, turned it off and handed it back to him.

"It hurts so much." I fakely cried as I covered my eyes waiting for him to return to the bed. I could only imagine my drunken actions had landed me where I was... we didn't have sex that I could tell so who knows what idiotic things I said.

"I know." He laughed sweetly yet fakely, agreeing with me. He climbed back in and nestled beside me. We fell back asleep.

-*

His voice woke me up though I pretended to be asleep.

He was on the phone with someone in bed, sitting up and I was laying fake sleeping beside him. His laugh was intoxicating, or it could have been his fingers dancing along my back accidentally. A lot of things were perfect.

It didn't take long to figure out he was talking to a band member, and after eavesdropping for even longer - he had a bruise somewhere on his body. He was hurt. The band member had called to check on him. I inwardly frowned and felt for him. I didn't want him bruising, or hurting. Did the band member hurt him? Did I hurt him? Who did I need to hurt?

He talked about a few other things I would never understand.

"Not much planned for today." He laughed, the fingers now turning into his palm like he needed reminding I was right there. "Maybe." He said. "No, no." I was almost drifting back to sleep with his monotone soothing voice until he spoke the quiet words, "She's already here."

My head snapped up to look at him, and his eyes met mine. He made a surprised face, that turned into a warm smile.

I was torn.

Shocked. A lot of things.

"She's sleeping." He said looking at me and my eyes went wider at his blatant lie. He laughed, my head slightly moving with his chest moving. "She told me she liked me yesterday." He told me with a grin. I shook my head.

No way I would have told him that.

"I'm always careful." He made a face as he argued into the phone and looked away from me - the band member had hit a chord with something else. "Doesn't matter." He said his eyes returning to mine. "I like her too."

More head shaking as I reminded him the No's in life.

"Oh fuck them." Another annoyed look away. "Ok bye." The phone call was cut short and I flattened my lips and narrowed my eyes.

"What did I do?" I asked calmly.

"You threw up in my restroom." He held a finger up and my eyes went wide. "You claimed the bed as your own and made me pay you to sleep in my bed." Two fingers. "You slept in your clothes." Three. "And then you said you loved me." Middle finger and a sexy smirk. I covered his finger and pushed it down.

"I do not love you." I explained, accentuating love.

"Oh but you do." He sang, now scooting out of grasp and reach.

"I do not." I argued.

I didn't love him, this was absurd. I barely liked him half the time.

"Lets go make breakfast." He motioned to follow him as he made his way to his bedroom door. I reached out for my pants. "No pants allowed."

"It's cold." I reminded him.

"People in love arent cold." He laughed grabbing his robe from behind the door.

"Oh, will you stop?" I rolled my eyes as he slid the robe over my shoulders.

-*-

We cooked in silence and we ate in silence.

Small talk was made but it was too early for my brain to function so I kept the speaking to a minimum. He was wonderful eye candy this morning, abs and chest on full display, and I wish he got every bowl out of his cabinet so his arm muscles would do that thing again that sent shivers down my spine.

"So, what do you do on your day off?" He asked me.

"I don't really get days off." I laughed, chewing quickly. "Like the weekend I would go grocery shopping or hang with my friends. Watch tv... boring stuff. If I had a day off it would be because I was sick."

"You were sick." He pointed at me with his chopstick before digging back in. "Fact."

"Yeah, I am sorry about that." I apoligized embarrassed.

"It was fun." He shrugged with a smile. I made a questioning confused face - only my drunken pain can be fun for him. "It's not a big deal." He said, but it would for a while be a big embarrassing deal for me.

"Im just really sorry." I said sadly. "The food is delicious." I smiled at him as I finished my bowl.

"Thank you." He smiled with a mouthful of food.

"Can I ask why we didn't have sex?" I asked, honestly wanting to know. Had I somehow gained a power to refuse him?

"You were way too drunk." He answered simply. "And you wouldn't take off your clothes..." He paused dramatically and I laughed at his expression. He silently pretended to drink a drink and swayed in place. He went back to eating with a shake of his head.

"Such a gentleman." I deadpanned cutely.

"You didn't tell me you loved me." He smiled. "However, you did tell me you werent going to have sex with me at least a thousand times, you were tired of it being all about sex and that you liked me." He nodded and I could feel my face getting red. "And then..." he stopped to smile and laugh as I covered my face "Oh, it's not that bad." He laughed. "And then you threw up and while I was cleaning it up you fell asleep."

"I knew I didn't love you." I grinned at him and he smiled, sitting back as if he was finished with his food.

"You do." He smiled. "Because I love you."

"Oh my god!" I yelled like I hated this conversation in his kitchen as we ate and he laughed.

"You know what I mean." He winked.

"Don't wink at me." I stuck my tongue out at him. "I know that I can't love you." I snapped.

"Can't or won't?" He asked.

"Both." I just wanted him to stop. I couldn't imagine this life with him past our weird friends with benefits relationship. He had strict rules to follow, and therefore I was subject to those as well. I didn't want to be but I did it for him. Maybe I did love him, i just didn't want to.

Love ends in heartbreak and his would be the worst kind.


	4. Daisies

I cant explain my defeatist relationship attitude towards him, i just knew he was unavailable in certain aspects and other aspects I would never ever see. He was very private. I would be too in his shoes, but it seemed to get old very quickly. I enjoyed my freedom - he didn't have much freedom at all. This was something new, exciting and challenging for the both of us ... and he would throw Cupid's arrow first.

-*

It's never expected when someone takes your breath away. Steals your heart he already had. It was a few days later, the first day of the weekend and I was happy he was busy. I had gotten alot of things done; and around mid-day I received a phone call from my apartment's office.

"I need you to come sign for your package." The office supervisor demanded and she did NOT sound happy.

"I haven't ordered anything..." I tried to explain, racking my brain for missed impulse purchases.

She read off my full name. "That you?" She rudely asked.

"Yes ma'am."

"Then I will see you in a moment, wont I?"

I stared at the phone that she had the audacity to speak to me that way. I mimicked her as I slid my shoes on and trudged the short walk to the office. It was a nice and cool Saturday.

I opened the door to the office and the smell of fresh flowers was overpowering.

My heart sank to my stomach.

Oh no.

"In the mail room!" She smiled from her desk and pointed with her pen with a large smile down the hallway. My head turned to look down the hallway.

Was it too late it send it back?

I slowly walked to the mail room, my heart pounding with dread and anticipation. It smelled so good inside and the walk closer was strangely calming.

I spotted numerous various flowers as I stepped into the room, myself covering my mouth as I stood in awe alone at what he had done. On the island in the middle of the tiny room were wrapped bouquets. Numerous ones, stacked. The floor was littered with other glass vases stuffed with beautiful flowers. No two flowers were alike.

I couldn't carry all this back!

It was a dream haze as maintenance helped carry my flowers to my apartment. I was afraid someone was doing to think someone in my family had died. It was just so, random. I had never gotten flowers before.

After moving the flowers to my apartment... I sat on my couch figuring out what to do. I needed more vases. My living room looked and smelled like a field of flowers.

Where was the card? Was there a card?

After placing 3 bouquets in water, I found the card. It was placed with the sunflower, clipped to that stem.

You said you never had gotten flowers before.

So I got you one of every kind from the store.

I laughed at this typed computer message. I was speechless, and stood staring at the words as I reread them endless times. He was truly crazy.

*-

Days progressed, and I kept up with the flowers like a mother nursing her babies. As they wilted I removed them from their bouquets. I decided to take all the flowers and dry them once they wilted, then crush them up and throw them into an actual field and hopefully they would grow.

The third day after the flower bomb exploded in my living room, he called me.

I of course missed the call. He didn't leave a message but he called again - and actually left a real voice message.

It was ... strange yet funny to hear him nervous and rambling quickly in the message. I quickly deleted the voicemail and stared at some of the remaining flowers. They were everywhere. In my bathroom, in my kitchen, in the fridge, I had given some to my friends and coworkers. There had to have been 100. [I would later find out it was 139]

The last flower to die was a hydrangea. It was dyed green and turned an amazing teal/green color before it turned brown.

*-

The next time he rang; I was determined to find a hydrangea to give to him. I went to 3 different 24 hour mini markets and thankfully the last one had one. A blue one.

I was excited to see him, and to produce my flower. It only seemed very silly and stupid to me as I doubted myself on that ever familiar walk to his door. My tiny hydrangea felt miniscule compared to the large hallway I walked down, myself trying to keep my confidence high.

I knocked quietly and tried to shake my nerves away while also reminding myself I didn't have nerves. I was just having here to sex with him and getting the hell out. I would not let him hypnotize me with his presence again.

"Good evening." He answered in another hat, a black bucket hat and tipped the hat towards me as I stifled my laugh walking past him.

"Here, I bought you something." I extended the flower out like it was no big deal. I was feeling very giddy all of a sudden, his hatted self already taking over and I hadnt even been there for 4 seconds. He took the flower out of my hand, setting it down quickly. I didnt even see where, the next thing that happened was he leant forward and kissed me. Not just a simple quick hello we arent quite to the bedroom yet. This was a sensual kiss.

I didn't understand what he was doing first, and he scared me. I leant away, but he was too fast and his hand was resting gently against my neck in seconds. It was only there for a moment, as long as the entire kiss but it was... different. He pulled away making me look and feel entire awkward quickly before he turned and acted like he didn't just romantically try to kiss me. Well, he succeeded.

I stood shocked an confused for a few moments and blamed the flower. That stupid flower that died 3 months ago, and here he was with his everblooming love. Stupid hydrangea and it's long lasting love. I hope it died quickly over here.

I followed behind him and he took a bypass to his bedroom and sat on his couch. I remained calm on the outside and sat down beside him, hoping maybe we would just fuck on the couch. Something new, something different. I was being treated differently and I loved and hated it at the same time.

"I bought you something." He stated, turning away and reaching under a pillow in the corner of the couch.

'Great.' I thought with a smile. 'Another gift.'

He pulled out a season of a random cooking show; not the one he watched 5 minutes of - but I understood his gesture and I was strangely flattered.

"I don't think it's the same one?" He asked once I took it to examine the box.

"This is very sweet." I thanked him, setting the case on my legs in front of me. "And thank you for the flowers."

He smiled a big smile, proud of himself and he caused my body to react as well.

"I didn't know your favorite flower." He shyed up a bit, looking away but coming back with a grin. "So you got them all." He rose his eyebrows up and down and I didn't know weather to laugh or attack him.

"Well the one I brought... it lasted the longest." I explained of the flower lying in his entry way.

It was surprising how easy we made small talk. Instead of heading straight for the bedroom, we sat down first and talked. I began to enjoy these times before and after.

All time with him was sacred but it just meant so much more actually living it.

We eventually had sex on the couch - myself overly excited at the idea we were doing it some place other than his bedroom, and he again made dinner.

I left that day and knew something had changed.

Was I already his girlfriend?

Did I need to clarify with him first? Surely there had to be some sort of girlfriend talk before hand.

I drove around thinking. I didn't go home, I just drove and thought about how my life was changing and I couldn't do anything about it. I was overthinking. I couldn't be in love with him.

Hell, he couldn't be in love with me? How does one stop this? Did I want to fall in love with him? It was probably too late. Did I want to?

I didn't want to do it alone. I didn't even really want a relationship and he knew this - it was one of my "selling points" when we embarked on this crazy idea. It was just supposed to be sex.

Not calls, not sweet things coming out of his mouth. Not flowers and definently not the amount he would infiltrate my head. Not kisses outside of the bedroom, and not lying in bed for hours listening to him breathe. Not worrying about him.

He was everywhere for me. I couldn't escape him. I had to act like I didn't know this man a majority of the time, and then a few times a month [if I was lucky] I could escape and see him like the forbidden thing he was. A few of my friends and coworkers liked the band - I never felt myself wanting too put a view on them. I see one of them. I know one of them. It was different. I hated being different.

So i continued on like nothing had happened. That's what he seemed to do, but the overwhelming want to text him became too much. I couldn't stop thinking about him - what was he doing? Had he slept? Was he happy, sad, cold? Did he think about me as much as I did him? He did say he missed me once. Since I wasn't allowed to talk about my obvious existent non existant feelings to anyone, I wanted to ask him how he was feeling. I could talk about it with him... right?


	5. Birthday suit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In leu of the birthday boy.

i attempted smut... ahead.

Birthday's are funny. They can make you feel old when you are young, and younger when you are old. Most adult's don't actually celebrate their birthdays.

I love birthday's. His birthday was fast approaching and while he had given me 0 inclination that he would seek me out on his actual birthday; I still wanted to be prepared for the time. I bought him a present, I made sure the cake was in my fridge ready and waiting three days before his actual birthday. Just in case. I didn't want him to have a crappy birthday because of me. I never saw him twice in a row. 

The night in question ticked on slowly. I made no plans on purpose; and by 10pm I was ticked off. I figured he was busy and wasn't going to call, so I took a bubble bath to ease my mind. I had overly prepared and now was sulking in my ruined plans. Always waiting for a phone call that rarely came.

True to his form; the second I had all my clothes off... like sort of bat signal was sent out  
... he texted.

So there I was, naked and cold, and now... panicking and running out of time. Thankfully I hadnt taken off my makeup and I threw the clothes I was wearing back on... grabbed his birthday present and tiny cake... and sprang into action. I was very excited to see him. It had been almost three weeks... a shorter amount of time - but that time things were different.

I arrived like normal; no romantic kiss from him. He seemed tired - something I honestly wasnt expecting. People were supposed to be happy on their birthdays; I didn't understand why he seemed so... angry almost standoffish at first. He was the one that texted me.

"Happy Birthday!" I squealed in excitement and produced my gift for him. Like a true show girl, moving my hand around the tiny wrapped box. He smiled a tad, more seemingly embarrased I had mentioned his birthday and I decided he was NOT going to be a non celebrator with me. "Open it, and I brought a cake." I rose my elbow displaying the grocery bag with cake hanging inside.

"Thank you." Was the first thing he said to me that evening other than hi. He opened it slowly, unsure of what he was opening, and his face lit up at the sight of his favorite figurine. "Really?" He grinned excitedly.

"I did some research." I fakely twirled my hair as I rolled my eyes and ignored him opening the cake.

"I didn't show you the figurine room, did i?" He asked showing me the tiny figure he loved so much that I bought.

"A whole room?" I smiled largely. "Well please take me there." I said lowly and he pursed his lips and started walking urging me to follow.

His hand wiggled behind him and I grabbed it. He was now leading me through his house. I was getting a tour, sort of. He stopped in front of a closed door and flashed me an excited to die for smile. He was excited. I was too.

"It's messy." He said suddenly embarrased. "I havent organized it -"

I cut him off by saying his name and queezing his hand that was connected with mine. "Open the door." I laughed gently.

The air was stale, and it was a small room. It was exactly like he said - messy. Boxes everywhere. Posters on the ground, posters on the wall. Band memorabilia and other things, collectibles and a few shelves of more collectables. He had obviously attempted something.- but it remains unfinished.

"Here?" He pointed to a spot on his shelf. "No." He looked two different ways and I smiled to myself as he looked and thought for placed. "In my bed room?" He asked me quickly but didnt wait for my answer. "Studio?" He said quietly.

I began to look around at the various items, waiting for him to tell me to stop. Trophies, CD achievements, modeling pictures, everything meaningful was in there.

"Okay." He stated and I turned to look at him. I spotted my gift behind him on the shelf in his original suggested spot.

"Great choice." I smiled and he smiled even proudly - if possible.

"Thank you again." He opened his arms for a hug, and I quickly hugged him back. I don't have many hugs from him, this may have been the second in our time. "Cake?" He asked after I know he kissed the side of my head quietly.

"Cake."

-*-

"Should I sing you Happy Birthday?" I asked swaying my legs as we sat at his bar sharing his cake.

"You can." He laughed, still slowly eating his cake and smiling at me every chance he got. I was doing the same - in a good mood ... as we both knew the best birthday present awaited.

I cleared my throat and he reacted with a surprised face, but maintained it into a wanting smile. I hated how he was always so calm and collected. I began to sing the words and he tilted his head back and forth, clapping with me at the end of the song.

"That was horrible." I laughed at myself in apology.

"No." He shook his head and held his hand out to shake as well. "It wasn't."

He took the plates once we were finished and completed the dishes. I sat in silence at his kitchen table, eyeing the large room and adjoining kitchen with awe as it was the second or third time I had ever seen it with the light on. He painstakingly dried the two plates and put them up... myself trying to act like I wasn't excited for the upcoming activities everytime he completed what he was doing. Same with the utensils - putting those up and drying his hands at a snail winning pace. He finally turned to me and I smiled, feeling my face flush.

"Let's go." He wiggled his fingers, holding his hand that I grabbed, himself turning the light off as we left the kitchen. Bypassing the livingroom we headed down the hall and excitement ran through my veins when I heard his bedroom door click open.

"Did you have a good birthday?" I tried to casually ask as he unbuttoned his shirt beside his bed. He had walked around to the other side, silent mission of disrobinv alone.

"Yeah." He smiled quickly, glancing down to unbutton a button with one hand. I slid my pants off, leaving my underwear and sat on the bed. My back was to him as I removed my shirt - I felt the bed dips on the bed as he crawled to me on his knees. His bare legs wrapped around me from behind and I leant back into his chest as he kissed down my neck and ran his hand up my arm. He was hard and ready - my body ready too, eagerly grinding back against his in any way possible.

I turned my head to hopefully capture his lips, but he had other plans as he unclipped my bra suddenly and started kissing across my shoulder towards my neck again giving me goosebumps. He reacted to my slight shiver with a huge breath through his nose as he lifted me - myself turning around in the process.

I sat atop him, immediately wanting to kiss him and lose the bra. I did just that, leaning over him, his hands finding my hips, tracing my back with light pressure. He grasped my neck holding our kiss, myself finding this time to smile and grind deeply against him again. He let go of my neck with a grunt and he repeated my actions against me. He was ready, as was I. There was no pussyfooting around this time, no foreplay, just a need.

-*

"What did you ask earlier?" He whispered at my head suddenly minutes after the grand finale.

"I don't know." I whispered back with a truthful laugh. "Probably about your birthday." Through that sentence I had turned on my side to face him in the bed, as he continued to lay flat. I accentuated and almost sang the word 'birthday' so the smile he shot me warmed my heart. "What did you do today for your birthday?" I asked. It was slightly above a whisper, and while I expected a slightly more romantic answer- he sighed and turned to look at me with a smile.

"Woke up at 5." He spoke. "Ate." I smiled at him, trying not to laugh. He was really going to run down his day with me. As he told me about his day I felt bad for him. He had so many things, practice for this, for that, doing this doing that, wearing this... and this is just one day. Today. His birthday. No break. He was being very open and honest and I listened and took in as much as I could. I didn't talk, and he didn't look at me. Just ran down his times. "And then I got off."

His eyes met mine and he smiled again.

"You are blushing." He grinned, then looked at the ceiling.

"I am not." I whispered angrily, patting my cheeks. He laughed. "We just had sex, remember?"

"Oh, I remember." He answered arrogantly in a whisper. His hands flew up as he pretended I was again riding him, his knees soon joining the action.

I gasped dramatically and flung myself away from him, grabbing the blanket the blanket in an embarrased protest.

"Good night." I whispered trying not to laugh.

"It is my birthday." He whispered and I laughed.

"It's 1 am your birthday is over." I said.

"Fine." He giggled, himself wrapping around me and I became the little spoon.

I hummed in approval as he kissed my neck and shifted quickly to relax and get more comfortable with his large arms nestled around me.

"Happy Birthday." I whispered, already thinking I was saying it too much. He had rested his head but moved his arm slightly as a thank you, completed with a small pull towards him. There was no escaping him that night. "I hope you had a good birthday."

"It's not my birthday anymore, remember?" He whispered faintly.

"Oh right." I whispered with a deep sigh. I hated not being able to see him. I regretted my dumb temper tantrum, I couldn't even remember what it was. I just knew I wanted see and hold him, rather than hold his arms. His chest was lying and breathing steadily; he could have been asleep - but his hips were not touching me. I scoot my own hips back to meet his after a good 20 minutes of self confident motivation.

He was asleep. I got comfortable myself, holding his arms tightly as his one hand safely rested atop my body and held my boob. Boys.

-*

The alarm came too early.

We were back to our original positions... myself clutching him sleeping, and he yawned as I silented my alarm never escaping from the covers. His hands gently held onto my legs as I leant back, him guiding my leg to feel his hard on. I set the phone down and with a smirk got back under the covers as we moved around slightly.

"You make me feel like a teenager sometimes." He giggled, pulling his boxers out from under the covers and throwing them across the room.

"Did you just...?" I laughed, pointing in the direction and I didn't have much time before his body enclosed on the air above me.

"I did." He said into the gentle kiss, slow and full of purpose. He fit in between my legs perfectly, feeling his hardened tip rub in the most teasing way. He broke the kiss to look at me with his rosey cheeks and dilated pupils. He locked eyes with me positioning himself at my entrance.

"Please." I begged, my hands flying all over his body in anticipation. With no warning he was inside, I gasped and he dropped to his elbows in some fancy matrix move.

"I have no time, im sorry." He apologized in a whisper as he pulled and pushed painstakingly slow in and out. I moaned as he quickened his pace ... determined and slowly losing his wits and mind.

He finished quickly, both of us panting and out of breath from our impromptu morning sex. A first time thing. He smiled lazily and looked at me, I grinned at him.

"I have the day off so that was all for you." He stated, crossing his arms lying down... his sweat glistening as he boasted to no one about his actions. "Well no, I have two things to do today, but bottom line. Day off." He said quickly, moving his hands to put 'day off' in lights.

"Pretend today is your birthday." I said quickly, kissing him then escaping out of the bed. I redressed quickly, myself having practiced putting on clothes quickly. I had to go to work, I didn't want to make a bad habit of calling into work.

It was very hard to leave him that morning. He pulled his sweatpants on and drug his feet as he followed my shoes clicking to the front door. I had prepared this time, ready to go straight to work. It was almost 7. We bought a tiny amount of sleep.

"Bye birthday boy." I smiled, turning around to hug him goodbye. No loger the shy girl who would return. I was happy, on cloud 9. I would walk out the door and it would all evaporate on the ride down the elevator.

Sitting at my desk i sighed. My phone was vibrating therefor I guessed he was texting me.

This would be a long day.


	6. Work, Work, Workout

I hated the amount that I missed him.

Thought about him.

Wondered about him.

It too3o days to weed him out of my everyday thoughts.

The first day is slow. I find myself day dreaming about him a lot - wondering if he ever does the same with me? I hated that I couldn't text him whenever I wanted. That was a big part of being a girlfriend - and while I had some things I didn't have others. He was virtually unreachable for long periods of time.

It came to my mind, like a horrible office lighting beam shining upon me on the 3rd floor - he had the day off. He told me. My hand grabbed my phone without second thought and I began to type out my hello message.

I sent it quickly, trying to concentrate on my work now that that was seemingly out of the way. I felt relieved, and excited. I should have mentioned something about his day two birthday, damn.

He didn't immediately respond and while I was happy I was able to focus back on my work for a few minutes... relief poured in when my phone vibrated quickly.

He didn't give away much; my hope you are having a good day text returned disappointment with yes he was having a good day.... without me. Since he was technically home - and I worked less than 10 minutes than his home; I decided to be the first to make a lunchmove.

I quickly explained my lunch was at noon, and I could swing by if he was home.

I debated my message the entire time during and after I sent it. I shouldn't have been so forward. He was the one to contact me, not the other way around. I regretted it up until the moment he responded. 

He took a long time to respond. Almost an hour. Maybe he fell asleep, maybe he took a walk - who knows. I didn't ask. I should have. He accepted my lunch invitation and told me he would have food waiting here. I nodded at the phone and checked the time on my computer monitor. 15 minutes to go. Shit.

I finished my work and ran to the restroom to freshen up before at work. The thought of leaving this hell hole to go see him then come back here was exhilarating. I was a woman on a mission and I had to move quickly.

On my walk - fresh air in my nostrils and my brain working overload, I realized he accepted me to come over without the promise of sex. I rechecked my message, it just said food. Lunch. I wanted to eat and then fuck - he was going to leave for who knew how long...

I quickened my pace.

12:08 I arrived at his doorstep, my hand overly excited knocking a few too many times. There was no denying I was excited.

"Well hello." He met me with a goofy grin as he opened the door. He had changed, now lounging in a brightly colored expensive branded sweatshirt that almost matched the hue of his neon hair, and dark grey sweatpants. He had socks on but no shoes.

"Hello birthday boy." I grinned walking past him. "You look amazingly adorable." I complimented, motioning my hand around to showcase his crazy sweater as we stood in his foyer.

"You as well." He ran his eyes over me with a approving smile after we exchanged a quick. He saw what I wore this morning. "Foods in the kitchen."

The smell hit me before we made it - and it smelled delicious.

"I know the guy that owns this place." He explained as he walked around his kitchen island to open the containers.

"This is Chef Kim-Sa's food?" I gasped once I read the label on the fanciest to go boxes I had ever seen in my life. "How did you..." I was mind blown. This was expensive, his restaurant was far away. I wasn't even aware they had take out in this type the place.

"You know Chef Kim-Sa?" I gasped. "Im sorry." I said quickly clearing my throat and trying to not freak out about how each plate was more than my apartment. "Wow." I said again.

"Well hopefully the food is as good as your reaction." He smiled, handing me my portion. I grinned excitedly, trying not to scream as I secretly smelled every morsel before pretending I was royalty as I ate the most delicious food I had literally ever eaten.

"Pretty good." He confirmed to no one smiling shyly at me.

"This is so good." I pointed at the soup with my spoon - I had taken over the container of soup and he winked at me once I realized he had none of the soup. "Well it is." I said quietly.

"I have dessert too." He mentioned, walking to the fridge.

My mouth watered at the thought of dessert. I was not much of a chocolate fan but could learn to enjoy it. He pulled out another to go container and set it beside me as I literally bounced in my barstool.

"This is like the best lunch break ever." I noted aloud with a smirk as he opened the dessert displaying the slices of cake and chocolate balls. I would most definently be stashing those in my purse if possible.

"Last peice..." He says moments later as he lifted the tiny peice of chicken out of the now empty container. He was holding it out to me with his fingers as if it was nothing.

"For you." I laughed uninterested in the chicken. I was however very interested in the chocolate balls. "Can I take this whole thing home?" I motioned towards the chocolate.

"No!" He toyed, reaching for the food. It was closer to me and once he touched it the container popped open. He stalled himself, attempting to cut off my chocolate ball intake by trying to run around the kitchen island to get to me. I squealed in the feeling around and giggled before I stole the box. It was a split second decision, but his giggle from behind me as he chased me was worth it.

I shoveled balls into my mouth as he wrapped his arms around me trying to subdue me.

"No!" I yelled. "I gotta go!" I yelled again hoping he would let go and he did. He took one step back to give me space and I took off for the door in another fit of giggles.

-*

Back at the office finishing my day - he didn't invite for dinner which I was extremely hard on myself about. He did text with me a majority of the day - but around dinner time and through my lonely dinner ... nothing. We had begun to combine tiny parts of our lives, but nothing would prepare you for the lonelyhearts that follow the special moments.

I estimated 3 weeks before I would see him again.


	7. Girlfriend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey so I found out Idols have sex in cars a lot... hence this -

The beginning when he left was the hardest time for me. He was still in the back of my mind all the time, and it was hard for myself to keep him on the back burner when he was away.

A few days after his birthday, he texted me. He asked if I had a car.

I was at work and made a confused face on why this peice of information was important. And yes I had a car - he should know this. Was he serious? I responded yes and he promptly responded asking if the windows were tinted.

I figured he needed to borrow my car. Maybe he needed to shuttle his boys around, go grocery shopping- who knew. Whatever he needed he knew he could get from me.

I responded that sadly they were not.

He then called my phone. It wasn't loud, simply vibrated ... but I personally panicked. I looked around and thankfully no one was even looking so I stood up and dashed to the nearby restroom to take my call.

"Hello." I answered non chanlontly checking to see which stalls were occupied. Only one was. Better than all 5.

"Are you at work?" He asked with humor in his voice.

"Yes I am at work, what do you want!" I whispered angrily at him. I kept repeating to myself DO NOT say his name.

"I want to tint your windows." He stated, and I pulled the phone back to check and make sure he was actually calling me. This had to be a joke.

"Why?" I asked not understanding.

"So you can call off work and come fuck me."

The woman exited her stall and I stood staring at her like a deer in headlights with the phone to my ear.

"No, I can not do that." My brain caught up and I turned away from her. "I will call you later."

"I will come over tonight." He said quickly.

"No you won't." I responded laughing and hung up seconds before he did, shaking my head. This guy was crazy. He was not tinting my windows and I was not calling in to my job to become his sex toy. It started out as just sex - and though I was denying every ounce of feelings towards him - bottom line was I knew I would do it. I would do it for him, because I liked him. I would do it because he sounded excited and I loved seeing him smile. I would do it because in that weird way it made me feel special. I would regret not doing it. It was now to the point I couldn't imagine not doing it.

I was going crazy. Perhaps I was in love. I walked back to my desk with a sorrowful heart. I didn't want to like him. Why did it have to be me? Did this mean I would see him more now?

Holy shit, was I his girlfriend now?

Daydreams in - a coworker interrupted my thoughts. My literal dreams.

"Tomorrow is the birthday - you are bringing cake right?" He asked and all i could think about was the peice of cake I left behind at his house. I got the chocolate fudge balls though.

"Yeah." I agreed as if I already had everything bought. I did not. Thankfully they reminded me or that probably would have looked bad showing up without cake on the birthday. "Carrot right?" I made a disgusted face with a wink and my coworker smiled as if I did remember.

Because I did. Sort of.

The rest of the day was a blur. I mentally prepared a list of what I needed to do once I got home. Hopefully he was not already there.

I needed to clean, shower, clean some more. Dust... all those things you DON'T do for the one you love. I wanted it to be perfect for him. Everytime.

I arrived home and got to work. I was already a fairly clean person; but now this was the second time ever he had been to my place. Yes it was tiny but it was still my home. I was excited.

I cleaned, straightened the pictures on the walls and charged my phone.  
Waiting.

Around 7 I was hungry and getting annoyed. He didn't say we were going to eat. I had basically no food at my apartment, my payday was the next day, and as I hummed shaking my eyes as I tried to peice together something that sounded delicious as I stared at my open fridge - the doorbell rang.

"Get it together." I told myself after I tripped on nothing, excitement running through my veins. I took a deep breath and checked the peep hole.

Red sweater and black hat. I smiled to myself leaning back and opening the door.

*-

He ended up making something that didn't turn out well. His brilliant idea failed for dinner and while I didn't mind - I could tell he was annoyed with himself. He had eaten but he wanted to "whip something up, something better than chef kim."

"I'm going to turn away." He laughed to himself while I ate and made a tiny face as I swallowed because that bite was in fact a little burnt. Most wasn't bad.

"It's good!" I said with another mouthful of food, trying to get him to stop. "I swear." I smiled.

"Okay I'll talk while you eat." He stated folding his hands on the table like a man about display a presentation.

"Sounds good." I answered.

You know the story is going to be interesting when he starts out by saying...

"So one of my band members..."

I stared at him as he explained in a very excited manner about his plan. One of his members did it - so why cant he?!

"So let me get this straight." I laughed, setting the empty plate to my side and eyeing him like I was about to do an interview. "You want to pay for my car tint." I rolled my eyes because the first sentence already sounded absurd. "Then you want me to drive to your building." I pointed with my fork. "For what purpose again...?" I asked him using his name and I smirked as he blushed. "Oh right." I hit my table gently as if I suddenly remembered, snapped and pointed at him.

"They will do the work." He reminded.

I quietly laughed to myself at this, looking away. They would do the work? I would have to drive... did I even agree to this?

"Alright... well..." I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "So I get my windows tinted, then what?" I asked. Another to die for smirk formed on his face and I again needed to look away before I attacked him probably breaking my chair in the process.

"Then I get to see you more." He spoke truthfully, leaning back against my tiny chair.

This did sound good. I mean, coming from his mouth, in his little red hoodie, sitting at my table... I wanted to see him more too. We were now two adults simply working through a problem. We fixed the problem.

My eyes found his and they were still watching me.

"Oh." I said quietly, flustered when I realized I hadn't answered him. My smile turned into narrowed eyes as I remember one detail pf his newly made idea. "I'm not calling into work though."

-*

The idea sounded great at first, and even the installation was exciting.

A day later as I sped down the highway to the one and only building - my special parking instructions on the passenger seat. Timing would be short - and VERY dependent on him I would come to find out. Even if my lunch break was only an hour - I had to wait for him.

He was late. How many times had he done this to know I would need to call in.

"Dammit." I cursed him aloud and eyed my phone. No, I could just be a little late. Like an hour.

9 minutes later my phone shook in my hand as I typed out a horrible lie to my boss. I looked around the empty parking lot just in case I spotted her before I pressed send, breathing heavily before setting my head against the head rest.

A few more breaths and I opened my eyes.

Nothing.

I looked around my car, it was pretty clean. The backseat was precleaned by me as well, so I didn't have much to do as I waited. My surroundings were nice, a typical work parking lot. I could see the entrance of the building, myself parked to the left of the entrance. I had been there for... far too long and I wondered where all the people were. Did they all come out at the same time? Was it just idols inside? What was taking him so long?

I look at my clock. 2:14pm.

I was going to murder him.

He didn't take that much longer. Luckily I had found a movie CD, and jammed to that for a while. I looked in my rearview for a split second and I spotted him. I turned the music down and turned my body around to watch him. He was with two of his bandmates, everyone walking together and taking their time. They said goodbye and my guy headed in my direction. My heartbeat quickened once he caught sight of my car. I could only sit inside and watch and wait as the anticipation built. I hadnt seen him in 3 days but it felt like months. He wasn't disguised in the least bit and I giggled as he smiled and was speed walking.

He climbed in and for a moment we just stared at eachother. The realization of it worked, it was just a break for him - but it was the world to me. No one had ever put the amount of effort he put into seeing me.

"12 o clock..." I chastized him.

"Okay I can't control them." He put the blame onto them in a joking manner. "I have to be back in two hours. Did you call in?" He asked buckling his seatbelt.

"I had no choice, didn't I?" I asked him with a fake smile.

"It'll be worth it."

"Where are we going?" I asked once he expectantly looked at me. I honestly figured I would fuck him in the backseat and he would run off inside and do whatever they do in there.

"My place." He answered. "And I only have two hours and then I need to be back at the condo."

I wanted to ask when I turned into his chauffeur. I didnt, I simply smiled and began the short drive to his apartment.

"Have you had a good day?" I asked, unsure on car worthy conversation starters.

"Yeah." He piped unconvincingly.

"Yeah?" I urged. "No Chef Kim food today?"

"No not today." He laughed. "Food was good today though." He nodded.

"Ah." I nodded as well. I hadn't eaten. I decided not to tell him. I would eat a big dinner this evening. "Food is always good with you." I winked at him quickly returning my attention to the road. He turned around and checked out my backseat, turning to face forward with a silent nod.

"You like?" I joked with another wink and I threw my head towards the back.

"It's pretty small." He pointed out. "But I like it."

"This is the luxury version." I explained of my car. "It's spacious." I rolled my eyes. "Why are we not having sex in it?" I asked as we drove. We were almost to his apartment.

"Because." He said slowly, "The guys found out this time." He said quickly. I laughed and looked at him quickly.

"And?"

"And judging by the size of the car, I made the right choice, so just drive." He laughed, pointing to the road.

I gasped fakely and scoffed at him. "You are so rude."

"How am I rude?" He asked.

"Calling my things tiny." I gave my only answer. "And making myself wait 2 hours." I thought of the second on the spot.

"The guys wont do this everytime." He said never looking at me. "Let me go like this."

"You have a 2 hour break." I reminded with a smile. "Well, almost." I parked the car in the parking spot.

-*

We lay out of breath for the second time that late afternoon. We got our breaks fulfilled and my workout for the month was completed. I was tired. I didn't know how he did it.

Once my eyes found his and my smile also found my face, he grabbed my cheeks gently with his palms and kissed me quickly.

What would a girlfriend do? I asked myself. I did the same but too him, and he took that as an invitation to cuddle for a few moments.

"Did you have a good day?" He whispered into the air.

"I did." I smiled answering. "Even better now."

"Yeah, I am a good provider." He sighed and I laughed.

"You're funny." I giggled. "Food and sex, he is a winner."

"Um..." he paused to point at his chin. "And window tint."

We were talking and joking now, no longer whispering and secretive.

"Hey I have provided a lot to someone who I can't even call my girlfriend." He laughed to himself.

"Well you can call me your girlfriend." I reminded him. "Just no one else." I whispered and he rolled his eyes.

"You know what I mean." He sighed.

"I do." I said his name and his eyes met him on instinct. "But we both have done alot for the same reasons. I can't call you mine."

This was the first time this type of thing was being said and it was coming out a lot easier than imagined. The two words : boyfriend and girlfriend. And he even said it first!

I lay quietly thinking about how my instincts were correct.

I was his girlfriend. I really was. He had just said it ... but then I wasn't.

I looked at him again and grinned. "Call me your girlfriend again."


	8. Like a Boss

My boss was one of the firsts to figure something out. My work ethic took a nose dive as I struggled to maintain my secret non-boyfriend and maintain, well, a life.

A few months later and after just a few more calls in during lunch - I was overwhelmed. I was behind, way behind in my work - and for the first time ever I had to tell him no. I was nervous - to say the least.

I sent him a message and turned all my focus to work. I would work through my lunch break and mainly CATCH UP.

He seemed understanding, and that made me feel a bit better.

15 minutes into my lunch break - my door opened. My boss who normally is quiet and respectful - barged into my office eyes wide like a deer in headlights upon seeing me at my desk. She had ear phones in and was mid chewing when she stopped all and swallowed her unchewed bite.

"Oh ..." She said my name and was so embarrassed she wouldn't look at me. "I was heading to my appointment and waa going to grab your paper files." She smiled largely and nodded as if it was perfectly acceptable for my pregnant boss to be picking up my own slack. I felt bad. Immediately heart broken that I had done this and now my bad behavior has trickled down and MY OWN BOSS was secretly helping.

"Oh, I'm not taking a lunch today, it's ok." I smiled at her hoping she wouldnt press. Her smiling face turned into pregnant concern as she sat in my chair and looked at me sternly.

"Are you okay?" She asked. "I've noticed you call in at lunches recently." She explained and I huffed internally. The thought had never crossed my mind about my boss being worried about me, and as I sat there I felt about 2 inches tall. "Everything alright?" She asked again when I didn't speak.

"Yes maam." I said nervously, looking at my hands quickly. "I just have a lot going on." I again, horribly explained.

"If you need some time off, just let me know." She said sweetly when she realized she was getting no information from me. I didn't need time off, I need to be avaliable at his beckon call and I sure as hell couldn't tell her that.

"I've..." i began to speak but choked up, looking away nervously once her eyes found mine again. "I've been dating an idol." My mind jumbled with ideas and that is what came out. I felt like my heart was beating out of my chest, nerves and anxiety rising as I waited for my fate.

"Oh?" She asked, a small smile forming at her lips. "Dating an idol. Wow." She breathed out without laughing. I couldnt tell of she was truly shocked or though I was lying. "Not what I was expecting, but go on."

Oh. I was supposed to tell her more?

She crossed her legs and waited for my answer.

"That's about it." I awkwardly laughed. "We are just seeing a lot more of eachother now." I lazily scratched my arm as it became increasingly awkward for me to look at her. "It's very hard and very new." I smiled at her with a satisfactory nod.

"I take it he is the reason for the new time sheets I receive for you?" She asked with a smile. I smiled but quickly removed it when I remembered this was not a happy time.

"Yes. I apoligize." I apoligized to the floor. I lifted my head, disbelief in my eyes that this was even happening. This wasn't me.

"Well, I tell you what." She stood slowly, more slowly than most and again I had to hide my smile. She wasn't visibly pregnant yet, but she was on the brink. "Go home and figure out what you need from me."

"What?" I asked confused as she tried to break a break for it. "No, I have too much-"

She cut me off with a quick snap of my name. My eyes came to hers in the second, myself feeling hot and again 2 inches tall.

"Nonsense." She said sweetly and for some reason Infelt relief. She wanted to help - whatever help I needed. "Finish it tomorrow." She instructed. "Don't go to his place or wherever, go home and figure out what you need. Work from home?" She asked. "Half day and work from home?" She asked herself in a quirky manner. "Figure it out." She said seriously and professionally, and with a quiet click of my door she was off.

I let out a loud breath, my cheeks filling with air as I looked around.

What the hell just happened?

-*

I sat at home alone, as instructed by the boss, at my dining room table with a pencil in hand, lead on a blank sheet of paper.

What did I need? I kept asking myself. Needed Food. Money. Clothes. House. I had everything I needed except for him.

Was he something I needed? Was I something he needed?

Love.

I wrote on the list. I flipped the penicl back and forth quickly creating a beat.

Time.

I wrote because we never had enough. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes... the pencil stilling automatically.

I had it. I was a genius.


	9. Wannabe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey more sorta smut

A few days after the work incident; once I had gotten completely settled in whatever life I was trying to manage - the test of my new plan happened. 

Of course I could never continue to take half days and still maintain my tiny apartment, as he called it... my boss simply requested an email once "I was leaving" for the day. 

I honestly wondered if someone else inside the office was dating another idol. She seemed too willing to help, and I was very nervous and unwilling to try. After imagining the hurt on his face I decided I had to at least try or I would be kicking myself when I didn't. 

I was at my desk. It was a Monday and I was not behind in my work thankfully. He texted me a number, 2. This meant the time he wanted me there. His chauffeur was being summoned. I had learned my lesson before - 2pm basically meant 'anytime after 2pm but definently not 2pm'. 

I liked how my brain almost flipped a switch. I was no longer myself, once I walked out of my office building and put my sunglasses on in my car - I felt powerful. I loved the adrenaline running through ny veins as I drove the few minutes to his work. The feeling as I entered his world. I was a few minutes late - it was almost 2:10 but thankfully he wouldnt walk out the door for almost an hour and 10 minutes.

A sense of happy relief washed overmyself once I spotted him, shielding his eyes with his hand as he looked for my car with its newly tinted windows. Excitement builds as I watched and waited for him to actually spot my car. 

Watching him spot my car will never get old. His tiny smile and I could see him try to hide his own excitement as he calmly walked towards my car. 

Once inside and the doors were shut, something happened. I had the entire afternoon, my car was running and I figured we would leave once he entered my vehicle. I was wrong. 

I know he couldn't see me but his smile was too big as he opened his door, plopping into the seat and shutting, then turning straight to me getting his money's worth of his new tint. 

"What are you wearing?" He laughed, the first thing he said to me that day minutes later in my backseat. The moment was heated as we struggled, well me, to remove clothing as needed. His hands had tried to maneuver to under my shirt, but I had a dress on; with a shirt over it - thus confusing the poor boy. 

"It's a dress." I said quickly against his lips as he broke apart to actually see what was happening with my midsection. "It's a shirt over a dress." I laughed, grinding against him where it mattered most, his eyes snapping to mine and I made a surprised face. We kissed again, him getting the hint and him needing to push up my entire skirt made me laugh again. I couldn't see where his hands were; I could only feel them against me, and he still had his pants on. His hands would fly to my waist in a heated frenzy and he was frustrated he couldn't touch my skin.

I couldn't believe I was about to do it in a car. In the backseat like some teenager. He went for his his belt buckle and broke the kiss. I slightly moved back, watching him in awe with shallow breaths as I waited.

"This is crazy." I laughed in a whisper. "You are crazy." My hand found his shoulder at sight of something it had missed dearly. My body wanted it and missed everything about him. My mind had a hard time catching up with reality. 

"Nooo." He smirked dangerously, one hand forcing my chin up to look at him. "You make me crazy." He whispered. "There is a difference." He stated and both his hands found my backside as he pulled my entire being towards him, his lips meeting mine with a frenzied hunger. 

We figured it out quickly, moaning and panting from the both of us ever present; our hands trying to support our actions in the tiniest car known to man. 

It was a small car, like he said. 

"Stop doing that." He panted, his dizzing eyes meeting mine. 

"I'm not doing anything." I answered. 

He slid down on the seat quickly, his hands grabbing my hips to change the rhythm putting himself more in charge. His legs flexed beneath me, the only thing I could do was lean forward and hold on. The pleasure was too immaculate, nothing I had ever felt before. He wrapped his arms around me holding my body still as he pounded quickly. 

"No no." I kept whining, the goodness too much. He continued on like the true soldier he was his end goal to make me come in my own backseat. 

I rearranged one hand, the other still firmly attached to his shoulder. 

"Yes..." He hissed, his hands pressing into me as he hammered me to my finish. I was saying a mantra of his name, getting louder. "Come on..." He said my name and it was like a bomb. 

I screamed and he continued a few more thrusts and then stopped, myself gasping for air as to what had just happened. 

"Oh my god." I said again, moving to the side of him. 

"We arent done." He laughed, his arms reaching for mine. 

"Okay well wait wait." I giggled, pressing his chest and then my own. I had to catch my breath. 

He looked smug. He knew what he had done. He flexed his member against me, it moving slightly on my sweet spot, myself jumping up a bit and having to settle back down onto him. 

"One more minute." I laughed, resting my head against the same shoulder I had just been grabbing for dear life as I sat strattling him. 

"That was fun." He chimed rubbing my back, and I laughed gently closing my eyes enjoying the new goosebumps he created and settled. 

"That's never happened before." I said aloud, a bit embarrassed. I knew my cheeks were flushed, I probably looked a mess come to think about it. I didn't want to look at his probable beautiful self just yet. 

His fingers found my chin again and lifted my head to meet his eyes, the moment beautiful as a love song barely caught my ear on the radio. 

"It's because I'm the best boyfriend ever." He whispered, kissing my lips softly. I giggled, smiling. "And my penis is magical, lets go." He lifted his hips and ran his hands down my legs sending a shockwave through my body. 

I took charge this time, centering and starting a slow pace. 

"Oh my god." I nodded at him, licking my lips. I had never seen anyone look so sexy with hooded eyes, staring at his body entering mine. He licked his lips and his own flip switched. Without warning he took control, his body taking control. 

It was a lot to handle. I was on the brink unable to handle myself and trying to worry about him as well. 

I said his name loudly in a gasp, and his hand covered my mouth. We were situated strangely in the seat, himself never stopping as I tried to get some bearings with my hands to at least prepare for the 2nd orgasm to come. 

"Hold on." He said squeezing as he rubbed, himself not able to look away from me as I stayed quiet under his hand. He was getting sweater by the minute, he let go of my mouth giving me a soft meaningful kiss. He then began to quicken his pace and I whimpered into his kiss. 

He began to curse, so I knew he was near his own finish. He liked to kiss during sex, towards the end - this was a new phenomenon with him.

Mr. Dont Catch Feelings got the feelings first. 

I was left to fall. 

-*

It's a strange feeling driving to a man's house, with the man, after you had just had sex with said man in the very backseat of the car you were driving. I liked feeling in control - which in my mind was basically the time spent before we had sex, and now here I was... fucking a celebrity in my car and now escorting him home. A very full circle moment for me. 

"So I'm off tomorrow BUT..." He paused to look at me like I could read minds. "I have trillys to sign." 

"What's a trilly?" I asked. 

"Picture." He answered simply. He named off a member, "...'s got them and he will bring them by tonight. I have to sign them tomorrow." 

Oh, ok, not so bad. I thought. 

"Well I work tomorrow." I said warningly. 

"I thought you talked to your boss?" He asked, lookingly slighty hurt. 

"I did, but my office is set up at my house." I touched my chest to signify who's house. "If I called in I would have to work there." 

"I can bring the trillys to your house." 

"Um no." I answered without a smile. "They will stay at your house." I pointed. I was already scared to death entering the building with him, I didnt need to be leaving with a "trilly" with him... just no. He pouted. 

"Well that sucks." He remained sour.

"Sorry." I answered truthfully. It didn't sound truthful, but it was how it had to be. I had done all I could do. "Maybe I can call in tomorrow at lunch." I suggested. 

"If you want." He said out the window, pouting and mad I would leave him early tomorrow morning. 

"Come on." I begged, trying to make him happy again. I rolled my eyes at him when he wasn't looking. "Please don't be mad." 

"Im not mad." He retorted immediately. 

"You sound mad." I said quietly, but he heard and reacted silently. 

"You always work." He complained. 

"Me?" I laughed, rather loudly. "You are always at work!" I complained back to him. That shut him up. "Look it's not my fault you have to work weekends." I said playfully and he smiled at my joke. I had won again. 

In the car ride we had gone from totally infatuated to pissed off. He was on his phone now, and it was starting to make me angry. He was rarely, if ever, on his phone around me and now he typed angrily trying to hide the screen from me - and I again regretted my every decision with him. 

"Alright I will call in tomorrow but this will be the last time." I said fully believing it myself. "Do you understand?" 

He nodded, though he didn't he didn't care, he had won. I would be calling in and spending the time with him. I couldnt stay angry with myself for my decision because everytime I looked at him he had this stupid excited look on his face. 

"What?" I laughed at him when he lauged aloud at nothing. 

"Oh." He waved his hand around. "Just thinking about earlier." He blew it off with another hand wave and turned to look at me. "You know, when you were writhing on me." 

"Do not ever say that again!" I laughed with a lazy eyeroll. "Embarrassing." I covered my face quickly and dread came to me when he cracked my window. 

"Embarrassing?" He asked incredulously. "That wasn't embarrassing it was amazing." He explained, using his hands a lot. "Big difference." 

I glared at him for a second turning my attention back to the road. I hoped ignoring him would shut him up. 

I was wrong. 

I drove in silence, nervously glancing at him knowing he was up to something. We were on the highway and I wasn't around anyone - even if I was they couldn't hear - but he rolled his window down all the way. He started yelling different things pointing at me. 

"I made her come!" He yelled at the first car.- followed by a mortified scream of his name by me. "Yeah right here!" He pointed to the backseat as he continued to yell at the same already passed car. 

"Oh my gosh." I was now fighting with him through the window button. More yelling. More screaming and trying to cover his mouth with one hand. 

He made driving a challenge. 

-*

Food was delivered, he had showered and changed, twice mind you. First shirt didn't "feel right" to him. 

He kept checking his phone and I could tell he was slightly nervous. Him checking the time was making ME nervous. We continued to chit chat about nothing as we ate and cleaned, and like clockwork... 7pm... the doorbell rang. He shot up looking rather excited and motioned for me to follow him. 

I was excited at the thought of meeting one of the guys. 

I did not meet them though. I simply; saw an arm. 

He handed a huge stack of photographs to a very wide eyed me and to MUCH if my surprise I did not drop them. I couldn't see who was actually at the door; I simply brought as the official tilly card holder.... but I saw a true act of brotherhood. 

Once the hand off was completed, I heard the other member gasp. 

"Is she here?" He asked - and he didn't answer. There was a struggle as the other member attempted to enter the premises uninvited. Arms flying as they grunted and punched, pulling their shirts. The non member eventually had to give up - crying for mercy and my boyfriend literally pushed him out the door and shut it. 

"Give me thise and ignore that idiot." He said grabbing the heavy stack and tilting his head towards the closed door. 

He set them on the closest table and walked away. We didn't have much alone time; after eating I ran to the store to buy him milk and more importantly, buying my own feminine products. What timing. 

I parked back in his apartment; walking quickly with my bag swinging off my arm. A gentleman held the door open for me to his building, I nodded and became super aware as he followed me casually walking. 

My brain kept easing my mind - he let ME in the door, he was allowed to be there. The owner of the apartment had told me never let anyone see me enter his apartment and I got nervous as we rode the elevator together. 

We got off on the same floor. We exited the elevator and I snapped my fingers opening my bag. 

"Dammit." I acted like I forgot something and it wasn't in the bag. I called for the elevator again, and didnt check to see where he was heading. 

I rode the elevator down to the lobby, entering the restroom and stalling for a few minutes. I went back up and entered the apartment. 

"There you are!" He exclaimed as if I was lost for months, rushing over and pulling me into the room. 

A new face sat on the couch, eager excited eyes met mine. The boy from the elevator. 

"This is Jooheon." He explained of the new human in his living room. "He's my friendly neighbor." 

"Nice to meet you." He smiled standing and holding his hand out. So professional, I thought. 

"You're from Monsta X." Is what I said as I stood staring. Not hello, or how do you do, no, my dumbass ratted him out and needed clarification on who exactly he was. 

This new friend was staying. He had brought alcohol and I learned was in fact his actual neighbor. 

"Yes." He grinned shyly, blushing a bit. 

"Im sorry, I mean..." I shook my head ... my brain finally settling from the serotonin jolt Jooheon just provided. "I'm sorry, I'm..." i introduced myself and he smiled. "Im sorry about that before." I whispered to him embarrased as I sat down nervously and he giggled and smiled at me. 

"It's fine." He whispered back. I smiled looking around for my own man, his being had dissapeared out of sight leaving me to talk with the other idol. What do idols even talk about? "Can you hand me that?" He asked, pointing on the couch arm foe the remote. I robotically handed him the controller, another look and smile from him as he took it. 

I stood up to find my man. 

"Are any more idols coming over tonight?" I asked after finding him in his kitchen playing bartender. 

"Nope." He answered monotonously. "Just him." 

"Haha, you have trillys." Jooheon joked as he made his entrance into the kitchen. 

"She's going to help me knock them out tomorrow." He said, tilting his head towards me as I nervously smiled. "Right babe?" 

"Huh?" I asked, looking from him to Jooheon. "Yeah." I agreed anyways with a nod. 

-*

Boys are weird. That's what having a boyfriend had taught me. I'd only had a boyfriend for approximately a week, and so far he had been nothing but a headache. 

Add another idol and alcohol? 

Hilarity, with obvious hangover. I see why I was asked to call in. 

I learned quickly - once my man had a few drinks in him ... he got kind of stupid. It didn't take a genius to realize he wanted to get me drunk. I had already learned from previous experience that I didn't want to be super drunk; so after the first shot after my initial shot - I started taking shots of water. 

Eventually they were both so drunk I was taking shots of nothing. 

The evening was a fun one. We laughed, danced, were young and carefree. Jooheon threatened to ruin the trillys at least 50 times. My man then decided to put them in the fridge because "thats what army wants." They talked about their bands A LOT. Things I would never understand, and some I did understand. They planned, shared schedules, and I even got a drunken tour of Jooheon's apartment as we all 3 had to leave to go find more soju. 

I was the first to get tired. These boys were trained to stay awake and while they were pretty drunk, they didn't seem like they were stopping anytime soon. My eyes were getting heavy, their loud noises jolting me back awake a few times before finally falling asleep on the couch. 

-*

I woke to my own gasp, and silence. The TV lit up the dark living area but was muted. I eyed the time on the cable box. 

3am. 

I stood up and rubbed my eye, looking for the remote but coming up empty handed. I alsp had no idea had to turn off the TV, so I had to walk away with it being on. I made it to the hallway and was about to yell his name quietly but I spotted his figurine door open. 

Not fully awake yet, I only paused to question it for a moment before I slowly drug my feet to the door, cautiously peering inside. 

"Oh my gosh." I said quietly behind my even quieter laugh and wished I could take a picture. I flipped off my shoes quietly and ran back into the living room to find my phone. 

I tip toed back lingering at the door behind another evil smile. I took my picture. 

The [accidental] flash woke Jooheon up and I hid away from site as I put my phone in my pocket and figured out what I would do next. I rose my arms to nothing as I chastized myself for taking a picture. 

I said his name again in a whisper, turning into the room as I pretended to look foe him. 

Jooheon was back asleep, in a different position. Mine hadn't moved and wouldn't even if a tsunami was happening outside. The entire shelf of figurines were deshelved, and lying around the sleeping figure of mine. It was weird, to say the least. 

I went to his bedroom, not wanting to even enter that room to attempt to wake him and got in bed. 

-*

A large crash woke me up, followed by a "Shit!" I sat up, covers falling as I suddenly.awakez flipping the covers back and jumping into action half asleep. I ran out into the hallway to find Jooheon and the apartment owner picking up a large frame and attempting to hang it up. 

"What happened?" I asked frantically confused as I had just been awoken from my beauty sleep. 

"The picture fell." Someone answered, they were both trying to line the picture up with the nail that was obviously too high for the amount they were struggling. 

"Ok." He smiled, dusting his hands off and looking at me. "Good morning, did we wake you?" He asked with an adorable smile and tilt of his head. His friend smiled looking away. 

"No." I said like it was nothing to be awoken in the morning. "Are you hungry?" I asked starting to head to the kitchen. Both boys followed me, and I glanced into the clean and picked up figurine room, turning back to smirk at mine quickly. 

"Peace." Jooheon motioned the peace sign as he headed towards the front door. I stopped to turn and tell him bye, but he was already out the door. 

"Why are my trillys in the refrigerator?" He asked me, showing his evidence as he stood next to the fridge. 

"You put them there." I laughed. "Ask your neighbor." I winked, pushing him into a chair because he didn't understand. 

"Now they have to dry off, did he suggest this?" He whined, taking them out slowly and placing them on the cabiney. 

"He did." I smirked. "You two are funny." I laughed to myself. 

"I know." He set the last stack on the top and kicked the fridge shut. "Hilarious." He said bored with an eyeroll. "Im going to kill him."


	10. Save A Horse Ride A Cowboy

Grammar mistakes and sex, what more could you ask for? 

The morning went fine, I called in via text, made breakfast, made his bed and even took a shower. Thankfully that was the only friend visit of that time and emerged from my shower and wrapped my hair, putting on the shirt he didn't like from yesterday. I walked to the living room to find him to ask for some type of pants and he had already begun the signing of the pictures. 

"Whoa." I said amazed, as it was truly a sight to see. He had signed quite a few already. 

"Hey." He smiled at me, his eyes never leaving the paper he was signing. 

"Can I borrow some sweatpants?" I asked, pleading with my hands as well. 

"No pants." He said flatly then paused to look at me. "Pants free area." He motioned around tbe table with a whisper and I rolled my eyes moving to sit at the table. "I need you to sit there." He instructed pointing across from him. "Then once I sign... move it to this stack." He motioned and demonstrated my newly assigned job. 

"Got it." I agreed, placing a hand on the non signed stack. "Wait." I looked under the table and came back with a unfair look. "Um, you have pants on." 

"I don't count." He responded. 

"Clearly." I moved my first picture down and he looked at me quickly before signing. 

He was fast at this. I could not keep up. I ended up taking over his other non signing job, both of hands in use as I moved the picture, waited for him to sign and moved it to the finished stack, thus repeating the process with my other hand. 

"Doesn't your hand hurt?" I whispered to him, being extra careful not to disturb his process. 

"Not yet." He laughed a bit. "You're doing a great job." 

"I know." I chimed highly, smiling once he glanced at me with his own smile. "How often do you do this?" I asked. 

He took a deep breath, signing two before he answered. 

"Every few months." He sighed. "Normally my mom helps me." He stopped to look at me, the pen resting above the paper. "Faster." His face changed back into serious mode as my smiling was causing myself to slack in my picture moving abilities. 

It took almost two hours. We talked about a lot of various things. He told me all about the day the picture was taken. What was going on, who was doing what, who was mad at who. He hated his shirt. This was the last outfit of the day. He told me about his neighbor Jooheon and how he loved living in these apartments. 

He just... talked. I was loving it. Sometimes I would ask questions, but mostly I just concentrated on my current helpful job and listened. He had a lot on his plate. 

"There's probably 20 left!" He screeched excitedly, his feet hitting the ground and he clicked the end of his sharpie marker repeatedly. 

"Lets go!" I jabbed my finger at the paper and became to end is near cheerleader. "19!" I yelled at the next one and his laughter erupted through the room. 

"1!" I yelled, though we still had a few in the stack. "1.5, 1.5!" I yelled, and he signed his name with such concentration his tongue was out. Once I lifted the final print his eyes grew ten times in size. "Last one!" I clapped quietly as he signed it, his eyes coming to mind and a heartwarming smile formed on his face. I returned the smile sitting back in my chair. 

"Do you need water? Ice for your hand?" I asked suddenly in concern as I sat up. "Do you need anything?" 

"Just for you to come here." He moved his finger slowly for me to come to the other side of the table and my ovaries jolted as I stumbled around. 

I went in for the kiss that time, our bodies hitting eachother hard, lips first, then molding together as I settled on top of him.

"We need to get away from the trillys." He said pushing me back slightly. "They are bad luck." He whispered then put his finger over his mouth as if it was a secret. 

Better now than never, I figured. 

"I started my period." I said sadly as I sat atop him, feeling the hurt I was about to cause. 

"See." He grunted through his teeth. "Bad luck." 

"It's not bad luck." I laughed, climbing off him; again wishing for a camera. He looked like a lost boy, disheveled hair, swollen lips and tired eyes. He looked at me like he had been shot in the foot. "It's just bad timing. We have next week." 

His eyes got large as my time layout. I had never had this conversation with anyone before and it was coming out much smoother than I imagined. Then again, we were adults. Well, I was at least. 

"Okay." He said slowly, turning to stand up himself. 

"Can I please have some sweat pants now?" I asked, bending my knees. He smiled largely scooping me up in his arms and carrying me to his bedroom and into a new area - his closet. 

I again was amazed. I open mouthed looked around at his color coded, magazine perfect organized closet. 

"Your closet is as big as my apartment!" I said in awe looking around. Everything was color coded and organized. 

"Your apartment is one step bigger, I checked." He stated as he opened a drawer. He pulled dark blue sweatpants and walked towards me, the drawer closing itself. 

"This is my favorite room." I decided, looking around at the red and purple shirts as I slipped on the warm pants. Nice. 

"Mine too." He smiled grabbing me into a hug. "You're in it and you are in my clothes." 

"Awe." I said kissing him quickly then asking the important questions. "Where are your shoes?" I looked around again. "I don't see them." 

"They are behind here." He pointed to the decorative wall. "Sit." He then pointed to a chair. 

"I am so excited right now!" I bounced in the tiny uncomfortable chair. He smiled, shaking his head and held the remote. He changed his mind handing it to me. 

"Press that." He instructed and I held the tiny remote like it was an expensive heirloom. I pressed the button quickly my smile getting larger as the wall did it's thing. 

"Wow." I gasped once I completed. 

"Jooheon has a wall." He nodded, looking at me and pointing to the hidden shoe rack. So many questions flashed through my mind. Were these apartments made for single people? Where was the couple side to this room? Holy shit did he has another copy of this closet through another door? I wouldn't ask. 

"It's a major selling point." I said, still looking in awe. "How do we close it?" I looked back down at the remote. 

"C." He said, and I pressed the red C button. It beeped the entire time closing. 

"Does that get annoying?" I asked. "The beeping?" I clarified. 

"Nah." He answered standing beside me watching it close. "I don't really hear it anymore." I nodded in agreement, it was a low warning beep. 

"Oh!" He exclaimed suddenly getting excited. "Come see this!" He took off running and eventually proceeded to show me all the standard and not so standard things about his place. It was his own girlfriend show and tell. I got the most-times funny tour, more tiny tidbits of information about his band mates, and lots of excited skipping from him. 

He was having fun. Honestly, so was I. 

Being with him was exactly what I needed boss lady. 

*-

I was to drop him off at the members condo and go home. We left with the trillys in the backseat and I drove the drive to the condo as he navigated. He was a range of emotions on the drive back. He became fidgety when we neared and he was forced to pull out his phone. 

"So one of them will need to help get the trillys." He stated to me sadly with the phone in his hand. "I have no idea who is home but I am asking." He declared, moving to summon a member with his phone. 

"Will he be wearing pants?" I asked seriously and he burst into laughter. 

"God, I hope so!" He laughed trying to type while laughing. 

Turns out he summoned not one, but three members. 

It was like I was watching a movie. Upon sight of the members - he was no longer my boyfriend. He leant over and kissed me quickly whispering bye as he broke apart, opening and making his escape quickly. 

He tried to block his boys but there were too many. The rear door opened and they remained civilized until one member had taken the trillys away. 

"Fine." I heard my non boyfriend grunt at them and I knew that voice. He wasn't happy. 

A very happy band member opened my passenger door and stuck his head inside to introduce himself. 

"I'm..., he's grumpy and you are beautiful." Boom he was out of the car. 

"Oh... thank you!" I yelled, but the door slammed as mine shut me out. 

The other member, still far away smiled and waved like an overly proud grandpa. That is what he reminded me of as he stood excited for his friend and kept looking from me to him with a large smile. 

The next time I would see proud grandpa - he was not proud. 

My non boyfriend guided everyone to the door as the one who carried the pictures ran out empty handed to obviously catch a glimpse of the girl. 

I wondered driving away how many girlfriends he had before. How many the other guys had, or if they had any. How did they do it? 

How was I doing it? 

-*-

Now that we had began this new schedule of visits - about two weeks later I realized I was spending A LOT more of my time with him. Mere months ago we were literally months apart in at least one evening; now I was seeing him at least three times a week and normally staying over for one of those. 

"How's the boyfriend?" My boss asked as she treated me to lunch. 

"He's good." I answered truthfully. "Going on tour soon." I nodded. "So that sucks." I laughed as I ate, popping more grapes into my mouth. 

"That's good." She smiled sincerely. 

"Oh and I met his friend." I said, turning my head to swallow my mouthful of food. "You know, if you weren't married and pregnant I could hook you two up." I sang playfully and she laughed. 

"I don't want to date an idol." She made a sour face. "I have my Jacque and he is enough." 

"Yes." I stated without a smile, but she grinned. We ALL knew about her very French husband Jacque. "Frenchie." I smiled weakly. 

"Jacque isn't that smart anyways." She laughed slightly as she ate. 

"Ah, here we go." I laughed. "Pregnancy craziness." 

"Well he's not." She whispered trying to hide her smile. "You happy?" She questioned and I nodded. 

"Yeah." I answered with more small nods. 

"Okay, you said tour earlier, no you can not go." She said before she took another bite of her own food. 

I laughed, trying to quiet myself and glanced around quieting my laughter. 

"I can't go with him." I laughed. 

"Good." She nodded. "I will be having a baby soon." She reminded pointing to her still growing bump. 

"In 3 months." I gently laughed. We were slowly becoming buddies; a true show of professionalism and friendship combined and put to the test. My phone buzzed on the table. "Speak of the devil." I smiled, glancing seeing his message with a simple number. 

"Really?" She complained sadly. "Didn't you see him two days ago?" She pained her face as he tried to think of my schedule. 

"I should tell him no." I nodded, looking at her quickly. "I can finish the day and go over there." 

"And miss my invite from the idol friend, hell no!" She said and I physically motioned for her to quiet. We were still in a public place. 

"It's his neighbor." I laughed with an eyeroll. "Jooheon is his neighbor." I spoke, spilling a name - and she froze. Her eyes widened and she stared at me. 

"Is he in Monsta X?" She asked lowly tilting her head down. 

"Jooheon is." I whispered my answer as I leant across the table towards her. "The guy I'm dating is not." Her brain worked in overload as she ran over the possible people in her mind. 

She hadn't ever asked questions about him before; and while I might have accidentally spilled the friends name I would need to be even more careful from this point out. 

"Tell the guy you are dating that you have to take me to my appointment." She reminded politely with a slender point of her finger towards my phone. 

"Oh yeah." I laughed, picking me phone up. "Sometimes he doesn't respond." I made an oopsie face. Surely he would get a ride. 

I was surely wrong. 

-*

It was a happy baby boy. I drove quickly from the appointment, my boss complaining the entire way. 

"He said 2 and it's only 2:30." I tapped the clock on my phone. 

"Dating an idol is no fun!" She laughed at me holding her tie. She had strict instructions. 

"For you." I smiled trying to joke but she did not find it funny. Understood. "Come on. Just real quick while I turn in, and then again the entire time he's in the car." 

"I should fire you for this." 

"Yeah, yeah, I should have left you at the doctors office." 

She dramatically gasped acting hurt. She looked away momentarily and then back to me with a smile. 

"Do you think Jooheon will need a ride?" 

"No." I pointed at her and she pouted. 

"Geez!" She complained for her final time. 

Once I began to exit for downtown; I asked her to get ready to cover her eyes. I didn't want her to know I was pulling into the BigHit lot, and since I knew we would wait - I would have her hide her eyes when we passed the sign and building. She was under strict instructions to not look around the parking lot and she followed them. 

"Okay." I said once I felt she was okay to open her eyes. 

"So now what?" She asked as we faced a wall. 

"Now we wait." I answered her with a smile. 

"I need to pee!" She whined. "My baby boy needs to pee." She said seriously and I sighed. 

"If he doesn't come in 5 minutes, I will go the 7-11." I pointed behind me. "Theirs one over there... can you wait that long?" I asked. She nodded but made a slight face as she gripped the tie. "Ill text him." I said, grabbing my phone. I sent him a text that I was running to the 711 to use the restroom. 

As she was in the restroom, he returned my message. 10 minutes. 

10 minutes was actually about 20, but we were prepared. 

"Okay put it on." I smiled as she huffed, but tied the tie around her eyes. Once he spotted me, I blew his mind and I exited the car. He jogged at me from across the parking lot as I walked to the trunk of my car, opening it acting like I was looking for something. "My boss is in the car." I said to him as he neared. 

"What?" He flinched and hid behind, well, nothing. It was cute. 

"She's blindfolded and you need to sit in the backseat." 

"What?" He asked again, another look towards the tint. Couldnt see inside though. "She has a blindfold?" He whispered, concern and worry on his face as I did a horrible job of calming him and opening the door for him to climb in. 

I got in the drivers seat and shut the door. 

"Is he in?" My boss asked. 

"He is in." I confirmed, turning around to back put of the space. He lifted his hands silently motioning he didnt know what to do. "I just need to take her to the office." I explained. "5 minutes." 

"She can take off the blindfold." He said crossing his arms. "I can't believe you just blindfolded your pregnant boss." 

"Well what else was I supposed to do?" I asked. 

"Am I taking it off?" She whispered at me. 

"I guess." I laughed. She removed the blindfold but didnt turn to look at him right away. 

Her hand lifted first and she turned in her seat to introduce herself. 

"I'm her boss." She said her own name and I saw them shake hands. "Holy shit." She turned to me saying my name. "I see why we called in." 

"Im sorry, are you pregnant?" He interrupted. 

-*

"So should I blindfold you?" He asked hours later as we sat together on his couch. 

"Huh?" I asked, turning my attention to him. 

"I said, should I blindfold you?" He asked again and I blinked a few times. 

"What?" I asked slightly laughing. "Do you want to?" I asked in return. It didn't sound like something I wanted to do but if he wanted to... 

"I guess I just can't believe that you blindfolded your boss." 

"Well what else was I supppsed to do?" I said his name and he licked his lips with attitude. 

"Next time just tell me." 

"I don't plan on you meeting my boss again." I laughed and returned to the TV. "By the way dont EVER tell her who your neighbor is." I stressed the word ever, and pointed to my west. 

"Noted." He laughed. He picked a movie this evening: one that I thought I would hate and was actually enjoying. His fingertips began to tap and play against my legs. It had been almost two weeks since we had been intimate and I inadvertently moved closer to him to enjoy the touch. 

I was still a needy girlfriend after all. 

The movie was forgotten as the night progressed, myself enjoying the lazy evening of making out and lazy foreplay. We had all the time in the world. 

While we ignored the movie and I strattled and moved on him - the TV was turned off. He smiled breaking the kiss, pulling back with myself not allowing him to search for the remote as I connected the kiss again. He felt around the couch and blankets for a few seconds, eventually his hands finding my body and I moaned so he could start pressing my buttons. 

"I thought this was a no pants zone." I whispered and he smiled. 

"That rule only applies to you." He answered. 

"It's my rule too." I said, grinding my hips onto his causing him to moan. "I just made it up.".

With our lips connected he tore his pants down past his hips, lifting up to help them with ease. It made me giggle at his movement, my legs helping to come rest comfortably on him, continuing my hip grind. 

He was hard and ready and my hand removed his own, himself lightly whining when he couldn't be in control. Once I began to stroke him while kissing, his head fell back against the couch. 

"Fuck you drive me wild." He said, his arms wrapping around me and the next thing I knew he stood and took me with him. 

I giggled as he walked trying to remove his now pooled at the ankle pants and carry me. My back hit his ajar bedroom door with a thud, himself rubbing my back as he stumbled to the bed. 

He seductively hovered over me, myself enjoying the view of his half naked self as he crawled towards me. He went for my clothes this time, removing my underwear as I tried to hide my flushing cheeks. His fingers touched me, entering two quickly as his lips found mine and I moaned into the familiar feeling of him. 

He was balanced on one arm, his muscles flexing underneath my hand as he struggled to keep himself from crushing me. I whined and cooed, trying to keep quiet. He broke the kiss, moving his mouth to replace his fingers. I gasped as his warm lips placed faint kisses, myself tensing everytime he would stop. His tongue took over and I played and pulled on his hair. 

His eyes would flash to me every now and then sending electricity voltage through my toes everytime our eyes met. 

"This is will take too long!" I cried, pulling at his hair to no avail. I wanted his dick in me... now. 

"Nope." He said against my skin and I began to thrash and squirm underneath his touch. His hand held my stomach, his other hand eventually working its way to my breasts, I grabbed the closest hand of his I could. 

A mantra of his name began from me, and he stopped to have his lips find mine. He rolled us over, himself lying now and I tried to move down and return the favor but he stopped me. 

"No no." He said seriously, his hand going in between us as I found his lips. We were lined up perfectly, himself cursing as he entered me. 

"Shh." I joked covering his mouth and using slight force to press and begin to slowly ride him. He smiled under my hand, myself removing it. His hands and eyes roamed my body as I worked his, and sadly my legs were tiring quickly. I moaned and cussed myself, quickening and slowing my pace to watch his face contort in pure ecstacy. "Hey boyfriend." I said in a bored manner. His eyes found mine, his mouth slightly open as I continued to bob up on and down. I winked at him. He smiled. 

"You're dead." He said quickly, and in one movement he was on me again. He pushed in slowly, smirking at me as I attempted to get comfortable and pushed the hair out of my face. He quickened trying a few different things. 

He was learning what my body liked and didn't like. 

He did something and it was like a gun went off. 

"Oh my God." I held onto him as he drove my body into oblivion. Encouraging whispers from him made it much easier. "Please." I began to beg. It was too much. I gripped his neck and tried everything to relax. 

"Fuck." He cursed, and my moment was done. Gone in a snap. I was breathing heavily, still clutching onto him as he looked at me with the same fucked over eyes. He smiled and kissed me quickly, rolling off and running to his bathroom. He returned with a towel and wiped me off, climbing into the bed with me. "That was hot." He said cudding up with me. 

"It was." I agreed. I exhlaed loudly, still trying to catch my breath. "I didn't come but I was almost there." I held up my fingers to show a tiny amount of space. 

"Well let me get to work." He sighed grabbing my fingers with a smile. I giggled as he flipped the covers over me. 

"You are so silly." I laughed against his lips as he kissed me. 

"I know." He answered.


	11. Stuck

Dumb filler chapter. 

The next morning; a super rare occurence - we were both able to sleep in. Him much more so than me.

I woke up a little later than normal, it was almost 8am. He however was sleeping like a rock. I gently nudged trying to wake him, and tickled him to no avail.

I eventually got up, used the restroom and trudged to the kitchen to make some coffee. Now that I knew how to use it my walk down the hall was a little prouder. I found a cup, made my coffee, and while I sipped it, and warmed my hands I paced slowly in front of his bedroom door having no idea what to do.

I eventually entered the room, eyeing the undisturbed lump of blankets as I casually took my time and walked around his room. More pictures, memories, all sorts of things.

My eyes fell upon the cracked bathroom door and I wondered if I should take a shower quickly before he woke up. 20 minutes later, I took a shower.

He was still asleep when I opened the makeshift steam sauna bathroom, releasing the steam into his bedroom to evaporate in seconds. I whispered his name as I tip toed past his bed again, the lump still in the same position. I made another cup of coffee.

I wasn't much of a social media person but I used this time to get on Facebook, watch some TikTok's, and check my email. I made a quick peek into my work email for pre preparation of the next work day and eventually propped up my feet lost in hilarious Facebook videos.

I think my giggling might have stirred him in his sleep. He moved slightly, the covers uncovering him as his sleepy form asked what time it was.

"It's almost 10." I whispered to him behind my phone. "Good morning, you want some coffee?"

"No, I want to go back to bed." He whined as he rolled onto his stomach and turned his head to look at me. "Are you dressed?" He asked, blinking his eyes after finding me with my clothes on.

"Yes." I said slowly moving to sit on the bed. "You need to get up and get dressed too." I encouraged, patting the blanket on his back twice.

"Says who?" He laughed, muffled by the pillow.

"Um says me." I laughed pointing at myself. I threw myself on the bed beside him, him cuddled up under the covers with only his head visible. I used my finger to gently push his hair out of his face; he closed his eyes and allowed me to continue.

"That tickles." He squirmed, sending his shoulder to stop my finger from tickling his neck and behind his ear. "No, keep doing it." He shook his body once I stopped and I giggled, continuing to finger his hair.

"You went back to sleep." I whispered. Seconds later he slowly smiled.

His eyes barely opened.

"Did not." He grinned with his eyes shut. He stretched and yawned, I moved back to the chair and sat to drink my coffee. It was almost empty but I wouldn't tell the half naked man that as I watched him from the corner.

He was funny in the morning. Adorably... morning like. He entered his magazine worthy closet and returned with some clothes, moving about as if I wasn't in the room. Went to the restroom, and changed clothes as he sat on the bed after I confirmed I had not seen "his green shirt." Um, did he check his green section in his closet?

He had already decided to order for breakfast and once we ordered he ran over his plans. There was a tour coming up; something very new to me and yet very familiar to him. What I learned was things will be crazy for a week, he would leave for 3 months, and come back.

This would be the first real test of our weird little relationship; and I failed miserably.

[Wow this was a long chapter!]


	12. Leavin On A Jet Plane

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh shit, more smut

Days ticked by quickly as the looming tour neared. It was a mere week a way; and I didn't want to think about the months ahead without him. 

I lay silently, him obviously sleeping beside me. He was snoring, something that I loved to grin about while staring at him. It was weird to me how I lived two lives. 

I lived my life with him, and without him. Two completley separated worlds. I didn't want him to go but he had to. This was what he did. He didn't talk about it much - I just knew the bare minimums. 

He stirred slightly, moving his arm and hand; I completely stilled and shut my eyes. He wasn't snoring anymore and I was unsure if he was awake or asleep. 

He whispered my name moments after his hand found my hip beside him. I "woke up" with a smile even though I had already been up for hours. 

"Morning." He stretched, moaning and making noises - a terrified look on my face whem his knee popped as he moved his leg. 

"Good morning." I answered back, quieted by his chest as he rolled me towards him. 

"It's raining." He observed quietly, the blinds to his window closed but the rain tapping against the pane. 

"Yeah?" I asked glancing above the him and the covers at the window. "You should go get wet." I said... it being so early my words were not even making sense. 

"Me?" He smacked his lips with attitude and his hand moved to my panties, but I somehow blocked him with me knee. "Unfair." He complained. 

"You have to go work out." I laughed, as his hand had now found his way around my knee and his fingers walked their way around my panties. 

"It is a work out." He nodded, fingers flipping under. My legs automatically opened for him, myself looking at him. Through ragged breaths he kissed me hard, grabbing me in the process to pull me to a strattle. 

"This is not you working out." I toyed playfully against his lips as sort of teenage sex fever had hit him; his hands and fingers getting messy as he concentrated on 1 too many things. 

"Yes it is." He answered quickly. "Shut up." He laughed his eyes flashing to mine with a grin. 

We both got a heavy workout that morning, a preworkout for him. 

-*

6 days later I found myself in the same predicament. Couldn't sleep and was again lying in his warm comfortable bed while he slept beside me. 

I was beginning to worry. He hadn't even left yet and I could tell I would worry myself to death the entire time. 

He had set his alarm for an unknownst time; and I had self manicured my cuticles and nails in the dark enough times I could open a salon. 

He was leaving today. The dreaded day had came. I was surprisingly involved in a lot of his packing and planning. He seemed to want to involve me, so I helped. Luggage was picked up yesterday; now they just needed their idol.

"Hey." I shook him gently and said his name. He turned his head towards me and made a sleepy sound. "Wake up." I whispered, shaking his arm again. 

"What?" He asked, waking a bit more and sleepy concern on his face. "Are you ok?" 

"Yes im fine." I whispered, easing him back down. "I just don't want you to go." I whispered, placing my chin on my hand that was resting on the side of his chest. I frowned.

He rubbed his eyes...hard. He was still situated under the covers and he smiled weakly. He yawned again. He stared at me with hooded lids as he slowly woke up, he eventually wrapped his arm around me under the covers. 

"You know what I wish?" He whispered and I hummed an answer at his words. 

"Hmm?" I questioned, moving my head a bit to see him clearer. 

"That when I get back, you are right here in my bed." 

I smiled at his adorable want. 

"I think that can be done." I smiled small and he grinned. He lifted the blankets, cold rushing onto my back, him pressing the covers back on and rubbing his warm hand on my skin. 

"And you have to be naked." He pinched my side. I flinched, moving my body into his with a slight laugh. 

"Only if you are naked then." I challenged with a nervous look. 

"Done." He answered with a small laugh. "I mean I will try." He stretched, moving to hold me as I was slowly trying to escape. "You however." He whispered in a grin, rolling on top of me. 

"You're crushing me." I laughed, trying to situate myself and not die underneath him. He was just wiggling his body every now and then, not really a purpose for this morning; myself just happy and content and unaware of the pain to soon come. 

"You. Are. Taking. Me. To. BigHit." He said as he kissed any available skin and I tried not to giggle as he tickled me. 

I knew exactly why he wanted me to take him. It was currently pressing on my left leg, he was making damn sure I was aware. 

"What time-?" I began to ask but he rolled over leaving me in silent shock as my brain screamed over and over to watch him as he made a very short naked walk to his closet. 

"I need a shower." He announced from inside his closet. I agreed from the bed, his naked ass permanently imprinted on my lenses and I had to lie back against the pillows for a moment to make sure it never dissapeared. 

"Kay." I said aloud once he emerged from the closet. I was looking at my phone, still in his bed now sitting up. Covers over my lower half, and my chin on my knee - I pressed my chest into my knee to keep warm. 

"You too." He actually snapped at me as he walked into his restroom. 

I made a face as I grabbed the smaller blanket on the duvet - I had never showered with another person before. I was very aware he wasn't planning on only showering but the nerves hit and my confidence shakey. It was still early and all I could think was he couldn't be late.

The bathroom was warm, the heater on and doing it's job. 

"I've never taken a shower with a guy before." I said, nervous and sighed looking at him with the blanket wrapped around me. It barely covered my goodies, thankfully it did.

I noticeably swallowed once he began to walk towards me and I blushed suddenly remembering I was naked. I felt frozen, nervous, and most of all excited. 

"Have you?" I asked and he rose his eyebrows in amusement at me trying to ask or talk while he obviously had plans. "Taken a shower with a girl." I mumbled trying to make sense, he grabbed my hand and led me towards the shower that was running. I didnt even see him turn it on. 

"That's not important." He said exact moment he opened the shower door and the

"So you have?" I complained playfully with a smile and crossed my arms to make a pouting face, trying to hide my breasts under my arms. I wasn't cold anymore, just very aware and awkward that I was completely naked and he was not. I had dropped the blanket when he invited me in.

He gave me an annoyed look and I knew I wasn't going to get the answer. 

"Ladies first." He said again, still holding the door open for me. I stuck my hand out to feel for the water temperature as I walked by him and into the water, still trying to cover my top half with one hand.

The water was warm. It felt great. The door snapped closed behind me, and I was alone in the small shower. I could see his opaqued self getting towels and moving around the space and he even disappeared out of the bathroom for a second. 

"Holy shit we have less than ten minutes!" He yelled clapping his hands and he swung the door open. My warm steam escaped immediately and I tried not to blush or look as he kicked off his sweatpants in the dry area of the shower. He stepped into the shower and in one movement, got his back wet and managed to have me attached to his front. 

I tried to wiggle out of his grasp, dodging the water to not spray in my face. 

"Turn around." He instructed, and I immediately went to argue. 

"... I am not having sex with you! We have like 5 minutes!" I said his name with a smile. 

"Just turn around silly." He mocked, jerking my arm ever so slightly, and I rolled my eyes and spun on the wet floor with my foot. We had minutes to go, and like a troublesome child I hear... "I'm going to wash your hair." 

"It's cold." I whined, his big shoulders blocking all the water. 

"People in love don't get cold." He quickly pushed pushed my complaint down and moved a bit, the water hitting my back. It was a touch hotter but felt great. It was almost like a strange sprinkler. 

"Smells like coconut." I sniffed loudly as my eyes were shut. I was nervous about shampoo in my eyes. Im sure expensive shampoo stung worse than regular. 

It smelled like heaven, it really did. 

"It's Norwegian." He said and my hair was suddenly being rinsed. I opened my eyes ans once it was safe, he spoke. "I get tons of free stuff. This one is very girly smelling so I've been saving it for today." 

I narrowed my eyes and pursed my lips. 

"The day you go away?" I laughed. 

"I didn't plan it like that." He laughed from beside me, his laugh echoing in the small area.

"It smells wonderful. Like the beach." I smiled as he moved from the shampoo to the conditioner. I could tell he was rushing now, his actions becoming half warranted and messy. I felt a small glob run down the side of my face and around my ear. "Here." I giggled turning to face him, grabbing as much unused conditioner in my hands from my own hair and placed it in his head. 

He moved quick to wash it off, and I almost slipped as I tried to move and be cute for him. We were product free and clean, trying to dry off quickly. 

"Now, the fun part." He grinned wrapping ourselves together in his large towel. 

"What?" I asked and he whispered in a laugh. 

-*

"You're crazy. Bye." I waved at him. 

"What!" He questioned me from my own backseat. 

"... there are tons of people around!" I whined his name; just glancing around the normal desolate lot and I spotted at least two people. 

"Which is why I got the windows tinted." He answered like it was the most obvious thing ever. 

I took a breath in, looking away as I rolled my eyes. You don't take a shower and put expensive shampoo in my hair to sweat it all out less than 15 minutes later. A little warning would have been nice. 

"Three months." He pleaded his best, looking around his and adjusting him lower half as if I wasn't right there staring like a schoolgirl. 

"Fine, but you are giving me the shampoo." I laughed quietly to myself as I climbed into by backseat from the front. He got visibly excited in the instant, a mischievous smile forming as he again look around the lot and back to me. 

"I gave us twenty extra minutes since we know what happened in the car the last time." He winked at me leaning in for a kiss. My mind went foggy once he kissed me - all thoughts turning to mush as I tried to concentrate on what happened the last time in the car. 

We flowed smoother this go round, the second time for us. We had no time and no earthly clue what we were trying to accomplish; just running freely towards the finish line of happiness together. 

"Are you kidding me?" I asked, pushing back; flinging myself a little farther back than expected and he caught me once I slammed my head on the headrest. I remembered what he did ; I had come for the first time ever and here he was making his own arrangements to do it again. 

"We won't need 20 minutes." He snorted to himself against my neck once his frantic hands found its way to my overly wet spot. He was breathing heavily and it was sending me into a heated frenzy as his hot breaths tickled my neck. He was focused and concentrating on one thing. Eventually, he got bored and went to remove my pants. 

We both looked around the lot again, and once pant removal was off, I moved to strattle him. 

"Not yet eager beaver." He laughed, putting me back into the seat and scooting himself back. 

"Please stop talking." I said aloud, his nicknames just not happening today. 

"Look." He stated, his fingers barely sliding over me; my body writhing underneath his touch. His smile was worth it, he licked his lips and looked around once more.

My head hit the window with a sigh of pleasure once his tongue licked slowly and I had to force my eyes open so I could pay attention and concentrate on my job. I did my best to stay quiet, my heart stopping when his eyes would flash up to mine. 

The sounds in the car were grotesque but music to my ears. My encouragements and purrs, his sounds he was making against my own body. He added his fingers into the mixture and I cried out grabbing his hair. 

"Okay." He muttered, removing all contact from me and sitting up. My leg was already strung over him, and my free hand was trying to unbuckle his belt buckle. 

"Finally." I laughed, positioning myself over him as he removed his boxers down after the belt was cleared. 

His hair was free from any cap or beanie and the length was covering his eyes. He kept throwing his head back and I pushed his hair back, grabbing the locks for him to be still as I lowered myself onto him. I took control. I liked it. 

I rode like a pro, going as fast aa my legs would take me in my tiny car. 

"[Name]." He whined my name in a worried manner, grabbing my hips. 

"Keep going." I panted; and my boyfriend took off. 

His feet were firmly planted to the floorboard and he was thrusting as hard and aa quick as he could. Rhythmic slapping now overpowering our breaths. 

"Fuck yes." He growled, I stiffened and o-faced as he worked me towards my second ever climax. "Fuck." Another curse and he paused, gasping for air and myself lazily moving over him. It felt like he was fucking the life out of me. "Ride me." He instructed, his head falling back with his eyes closed. His arms rested along the back the back seat l.

I did just that, I rode like the wind. I bounced, moved, scooted, twirled - anything I could think to make friction and fast. What seemed like an eternity passed and he took over, his hands caressing my legs to ease me to a slow. 

As he pounded I began anither mantra of his name and oh-my-gods. 

He soon joined in and I was frustrated and worried he would beat me to the finish line we were hurtling towards. 

Boom, I arched my back and pleasure tingled through my body. I was frozen and panting, his tongue helping him concentrate to get me through my orgasm. 

"Oh my god." I pushed on his stomach to get him to stop or slow down. He slowed, fixing my hair - I ended up messing it right back up. "Ok you go." 

I didnt even finish my sentence and the lude slapping sounds echoed again, my hands scrambling to hold onto something. 

"No, no." I screamed once I felt the familiar build. He grabbed my wrist and held me put, the ever familiar O-face back on me. He was inches from my face watching me. His tongue was fixated to the left side of his mouth. I moved his hair again.

He said my name as he came, no cussing no nothing, just a quiet cry of my name and he let go of my wrist. 

"Wow." I breathed, pulling my own clothes back on, bouncing in my seat. He had his clothes on mere seconds and ran his fingers through his newly damn hair. 

"Wow is right." He pulled me into his arms and kissed my neck. And again. I sighed. 

"So naked in your bed when you get back right?" I asked once he made his second peek out the window towards the building. 

"Damn right." He laughed, turning to look at me. "I will do my best to call you everyday." 

I knew this was a lie, as did he. I smiled anyways, nodding trying to keep myself from crying. I didn't want him to leave. For three months no less. 

"I will also call you everyday." I smiled and he laughed with me. 

"I will miss you so much." He said quickly, taking my hand. 

"I swear I will miss you more." I returned the compliment. 

Seconds passed as we stared at eachother, thoughtless and happy. 

"I don't know how to do this." He laughed, rubbing his face quickly as he looked away from me. I looked down as well looking back touching his chin to meet my eyes with his own. 

Sad eyes met mine and I put on my best strongest smile for him. 

"Give a kiss and go." I stated simply. 

My answer was not exciting for him. He pursed his lips and looked away. I said his name slolwy and he looked at me with expectant eyes. 

"Kiss." I pointed to my cheek and then the window. "And go." He looked away again. "Boy!" I warned, grabbing his face and kissing him as romantically as I could. "Okay bye." I pushed his head back and with a wipe of my mouth I smiled at him. 

"I will miss you." He said with his hand on the door handle. "Like a lot." 

"You are making this so much harder." I reminded. "I think I see your bandmate." I lied, and he fell for it and turned to look. I leant across him and opened my door. 

Once the door was opened; we were back to normal life. No boyfriend, no girlfriend, just two crazy kids in love. 

"Okay bye." He whispered, and within seconds the door was shut. 

I was alone. 

I watched him walk in from my backseat. He didn't look back; I didn't expect him too. 

I watched the front door of the building for 30 minutes thinking he would run back out to me. 

I felt helpless; I was helpless and alone. 

I hated it. I could not wait for him to come back, and he hadnt even left yet. 

I started crying alone in my car, and then embarrased of myself - I drove home to cry there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do yall like it? Kudos? Comments? Hate it? Plz let me know!! <3


	13. Never Enough

The clouds in the overcast sky reminded me of the ripples on a tigers coat. A beautiful layout with tiny breaks of blue to represent the hurdles that we faced. They seemed endless as it stretched across the sky, and us it was a endless battle. 

I sniffled to myself, trying to push all negativity out. It had been what, 10 minutes? I was already a blubbering mess. Thank goodness he was gone; the black mascara running down my cheeks was definently a good look. 

I needed to be strong. I need to get ahold of myself. With a quick glance at myself in my view mirror and I scoffed at my current state, wiping my face of the stray tears that had somehow escaped and tried to breathe. 

I fell asleep quickly once I got home, my own bed feeling strange yet warm and I wondered if he was as pathetic as I was. 

*-

The first few days were the worst. I was constantly reminded of their presence around me - yet he was gone. I was able to focus on work more still managing the half work from home ethic I had picked up. 

I learned in fact someone WAS dating an idol within the building. Well, someone other than me. 

Absolutely no one on the planet knew that we knew eachother; except my boss. She did her part and stayed quiet, helping when she could. Two weeks after his departure and two weeks into constantly checking my phone - she invited me to lunch again. Another slightly rare occurence... her pregnant self waddled into my office with a smile. 

"Are you eating ice cream before lunch?" I laughed, setting my pen down and holding back large laughter at her. She had mere weeks to go - the annoyance of being pregnant fully kicked in. 

"I'm always eating." She answered with a mouthful then smiled at me. "Lets go eat." 

-*

Lunch was actually fantastic. She wanted to walk around, and as we walked the small block of the city we made casual talk. 

"So your boyfriend." She started speaking but stopped and I looked over at her. We had stopped and were eating on a bench in the tiniest park ever, the street food never tasting so food. 

"Mine?" I needed to make sure we were talking about the same person because she looked all serious at me. 

"Yes yours." She grinned warmly, glancing around again in the most unsuspicious way but her eyes that hid a smile found mine again. 

"He is gone right now... No?" She asked and I crinkled my head in confusion. 

"Yes I think they are in..."

"It doesn't matter, it doesnt matter." She interrupted me and flagged my hand down to grab it. "You have worn the same thing for two days in a row." She said perfectly in a overly chasting motherly way. "He didn't die, he is on tour." She gently pushed my hands as she let go, signaling to me she wasn't going to let this happen. 

"I know that." I said rudely, as if she had any idea what I was even feeling. I couldn't look at her anymore, with her sad pathetic truths. 

"Focus on you. Come help me get the final stuff for the baby." 

I pouted when she mentioned her covered beach ball; I did want to go. That sounded fun. Maybe I needed to go shopping. Even better when it wasnt my money. 

-*

Before I knew it weeks had passed. We texted daily, almost hourly some days, and I began to fall back into the way my life worked before I wasnt a secret girlfriend. 

I could do what I wanted. I could read a book. I could burn the book midway. I did alot of random things: the main thing I did was try not to miss him. 

He would still disappear, reappearing mostly at odd times - one of which I was at my parents. 

-*

"Who is on the phone?" My mother asked nicely as I purposely ignored her question for the 2nd time.

"No one mom." I smiled largely at her as I answered trying to cover my lie with a good show. She repeated the same look she gave me as last answer, only this time shooting my sister a look as she walked past her on the way out the door. 

My sister cued in on her target as I felt the walls close in on me. 

This was a set up. 

"What is going on ..?" She used a sibling name that only the sibling is allowed and I narrowed my eyes at her. The true policewoman in her element, not succumbed to interrogating her sister. Sad. 

I smirked at her and crossed my arms matching her stance completely to a T. 

"Absolutley nothing is going on." 

"Cut the bullshit, who is your boyfriend and why in the fuck do you own a Hermès bag? Why are your windows tinted? Why the fuck you holding out sis?" 

My stomach dived out my asshole. Fuck. She kept her policewoman stare as I crumbled. She couldn't do this to me. I loved her. I loved him. 

"I'm your sister." I whined, she was so intimidating and even worse as top detective in her precinct. We all knew she LIVED for interviews where she could play the bad guy. 

She twisted her head and blinked at me as if it was a revelation to her. 

"My sister?" She asked getting off the chair in a flast and my entire body sank. My first instinct was to grab my purse but I couldn't move. My purse slammed on the counter and I silently flinched but knew there was no evidence of him in there. Except for the actual bag.

".....!" I screamed when she flipped my purse onto the table, all contents tumbling out for display. She was the better and stronger, meaner sister; with one push of her hand I was flung back like in the matrix and she used her body to block while she scavenged through my belongings. "Mom!" I screamed jumping on her back. "Im calling the police!" I screamed as loud as I could in her ear. 

She didn't like that very much. 

Next thing I saw was the ceiling light, and my sisters impossibly large head coming into view. 

"See that." She whispered and I flailed under her again, screaming for my mother again. She turned my head towards her detective picture on the mantle. 

"Ugly." I managed to get out before my loving older sister pushed my head into the floor again. 

"That means I am the police." She whispered. "What's going on ..!" 

"Get off me!" I screamed, strength coming from no where in my legs. Maybe the jogging. 

"Tell me!" She screamed, shaking my body (gently) against the floor. She wasn't hurting me, yet, but just... bothering me. She has done worse. "Where'd you get the bag?"

"My boyfriend." I answered. 

"Huh?" She bent my arm and I made a confused face because I wasn't a criminal and it did hurt.

"Ow! Dammit, I said my boyfriend."

"Who's this boyfriend?" She yelled at me. "Mother, she has a boyfriend." She yelled away from me as I groaned from underneath. "Where'd he get all that money?" She shook my body again. "He's not doing something illegal?" She leant down and questioned again, "Are you?"

"He's rich!" I yelled, fighting her off me and succeeding this time. "I didn't even want the stupid bag." I was sitting up. 

"Im going to need name, birthday, job title, graduate school..." 

"I can't." I answered, shutting down. I crossed my arms and my sister did not like it when I hid things from her. "The money is legal, in fact he works very hard for it."

"Oh we cant?" She frilled her hands and rolled her eyes. 

"He's sort of an idol." 

"Sort of?" My mother now chimed in from the doorframe.

"Okay he is one." I held my hand out in hopes to stop. "Please dont do this." 

"Then tell me the truth or I will find out." She said through her teeth and sadly I knew EVENTUALLY she would. 

"You gotta keep your mouth shut." I stated and my mother perked up from the sidelines. Her weirdly excited smile as she pretended not to be listening made me weirdly happy.

"You know me." She pretended to pull an electric chair plug and I rolled my eyes not understanding her electric chair refrence. "You both have heard of them." 

I said his name slowly and the band and my sister laughed. She actually laughed at me. 

"No, no, no really. Who?" She asked through laughter. I didnt smile or answer back at her. "Oh you are serious." She slightly laughed. "Okay. We're serious here." She braced herself with a hand on the table and eventually sat down. 

"How did you two meet?" My mom asked, introducing herself into the conversation again sitting at the table. 

My mind flashed to the worst night of my life. The most embarrassing, socially awkward night that I never wanted to relive. 

"Work." I stated as my lie. 

"Im very happy for you dear." My mother squeezed my shoulder as she departed. "We will talk later." She left the room leaving me with the adult version of Kindergarden Cop. 

".. Huh?" She nodded saying his name slowly. "I see it." 

I crinkled my face, she saw what exactly? 

And in true sister form, "Can I have the bag since you said you ki dont want it?" 

*-

About two weeks before his long awaited return - I recieved a letter. Obviously my boyfriends; as the return address said 'not her boyfriend',; addressed to 'girlfriend' - and there was something inside. He was so weird sometimes. 

I opened the letter carefully, fully expecting confetti or something to spill out, but a tiny metal key slipped out and clanged against the floor. I opened the tiny handwritten letter on hotel paper with one hand, reading it as my other hand held felt around for the key.

Don't Forget What We Talked About 

Was scribbed around his signature. 

I sighed to myself, excited that I had a key. No one to share this exciting moment with, so I celebrated alone as I squealed quietly and threw the key up and caught it. I may have went a tad overboard with my silent excitement. 

I responded about my request; since I was required to be naked he should be too. He would eventually be- might as well cut out some middle steps. 

I went shopping. I got a hair cut. I did everything I could to prepare. I slept 5 extra hours that day [before his arrival] in preparation of his late one. It wouldn't be too late;I was thankful, but still late at night. 

When they landed; the TV broke in with the news of their safe return. I became giddy. 

I couldnt contain myself. I grinned and stared intently - watching as they all were welcomed back by their fans on TV. I might have signaled to the TV that I had the key. Just once. 

I wasn't sure what time to be there. I had never ever been in his apartment without him. I asked and while he didn't give a definite answer... I decided an hour early would suffice. 

His apartment was strange, large and unfamiliar to me. I felt like I had been there a billion times but without him just felt like it was missing something. 

I closed the apartment back up; the cleaning lady had obviously been there. Clothes folded neatly on the bed, I tried to rearrange and put it items, wishing I had come over earlier. 

Once the estimated time hit, I found myself in the bedroom. I had turned the TV on, the chatter in the background helping release my anxiety of having to wait. 

And wait. 

I yawned. 

He was late. 

My plan was to remove my clothing once I heard the door open. I would be able to see it flash green on the alarm panel in his room, and hopefully hear him as he came. 

Hours passed. 

I stayed awake. 

More yawns. 

My phone vibrating jolted me awake, myself relieved he wasn't actually there to witness that moment. 

Tomorrow. :( 

I stared at the simple word and threw the phone on the bed. I didnt reply. 

-*-

I stirred slightly feeling the dip in the bed. His smell hit me first, followed by a gentle hand travelling on my lower back and resting with a gentle pull towards him. 

"Wake up." He whispered.

"Huh?" I asked. My hand exploring was stopped by his body, and I hugged the body as tightly as I could. "You're back!" I screeched causing him to laugh as I continued to squeeze and rock him from under the covers, eventually wiggling my leg free and wrapping both around him.

"Yes." He answered into the kiss I didn't waste seconds getting and it sent vibrations through my body. I was hot, awake, and was now antsy. The first thing I noticed was the taste of alcohol in his kiss. Second thing was his dark hair.

"Have you been drinking?" I asked the obvious question as I lay on him and he smirked, paused and licked his lips as he tried to act sober than he was.

"Just 1 drink." He displayed 1 finger with a smile as I hovered above him. "Or 5." All five fingers flashed before my eyes before disappearing into a drunken tell; the hand finding my neck and pulling us back together in another heated kiss 

"You're not naked." I pouted, pulling at the bottom of his shirt. I couldn't touch him. He pouted.

"You are. I win." He snickered.

"So you don't need to follow the rules?" I asked with a playful tilt to my head leaning back up a tiny bit. Another hefty laugh rang through the room as he shook his head at me. 

"Im allowed to break the rules if I make the rules." 

"Um, I made that rule." I reminded him. 

"Rules were made to be broken." He whispered as my hand decided it had enough waiting and slipped underneath his boxers. 

"Speaking of broken rules..." I looked at him and spoke innocently as my hand slowly worked its magic under the covers between us. "I told my sister." 

"What?" He questioned, his drunken euphoric state cut short as he stared at me. I continued the slow pace I had on him, maintaining my innocent act. He was breathing erratically and I was having too much fun. 

"Well, she is a cop." I whispered. His eyes triped in size. "Don't worry though." I let go and pulled my hand away, moving it to pull him in for a kiss. "But she knows." I said before kissing him again. 

"You havent told your family about me?" He asked suddenly, and when I opened my eyes with an obvious annoyed look on my face, he looked hurt. 

"No have you?" 

"Yes!" He answered back with a slight grunt and I felt bad. 

"Well you told me not to tell anyone." I complained trying to kiss him again but he distanced himself and pulled away. "They know now." I laughed, sitting back since obviously thinking about his family has sidetracked him. 

"What did they say then?" He was interested in their opinion of him and turned to me with expectant eyes. 

I smirked looking away, casually fixing the blanket over me from under the covers. 

"My mom wanted to know how we met." I stated without a smile looking at him after speaking. I watched as that night replayed in his head, my cheeks reddening as he smirked at me. "I told her we met at work." I said arrogantly and he laughed again unable to control his gasping. 

"Work!" He kept yelling as he gasped for air. He was wiggling his legs. "The only thing you worked on that night was your way into my-" 

I was on top of him again in seconds, my hand covering his mouth mumbling his last words. 

"Into your what?" I questioned inches from his face, pressing my hand into his lips. 

"My heart." He spoke from under my mouth, his hand covering his own when I rose my eyebrows and he spoke louder. "My heart!" He yelled and I unclasped my grip from his mouth. "My heart." He repeated for the third time, cuddling up to me. He smiled kissing my head and whispered into my ear, "And my pants."


	14. Move Along

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Grammar mistakes

My boss had returned from maternity leave and I was actually at work sitting at my desk. It wasn't too long after we had met eachothers family a little before my own birthday - he started acting a little strange. 

I felt like I had ny two separate words sort of managed. Both lives were fantastic, boss lady was back from maternity leave and I was at the office working. 

A small commotiom outside jerked my eyes to the source and I as I stood at my doorframe watching everyone chit chat and ooh, and aaw... I asked someone walking by. 

"Hey, what is going on?" I asked, pointing to the people. 

"There is a helicopter on the roof." He answered, walking away. 

I thought someome was hurt. 

"What?" I asked myself then looked at my coworkers. "Is everything ok? The copy kid just told me there is a helicopter on the roof!" I laughed trying to suddenly interject myself into my coworkers conversation. 

"Yeah, Millie said it was a BigHit helicopter." She said as a picture of the only person I knew from this BigHit she spoke of flashed through my mind. "It's been there for 37 minutes." 

"What?" I laughed seconds later my brain in a circled mush. "Where's Millie?" I asked, not seeing her but needing some vision confirmation. 

"Where do you think Millie is?" Someone answered, trying to make a joke but I didn't care. 

I, as naturally as I could, laughed twice and got the fuck out of there. I was not inconspicuous. I ran to my phone, my hands shaking, hearing buzzing, vision blurring and heart in my stomach as I picked up my phone and prayed it was not him. 

The crinckle of an overhead speaker signified an announcement.... and I froze lifting my head - my eyes watching the speaker on my ceiling. 

I heard him laugh in the background before my boss boss began to speak. It was a quiet laugh - it made me smile that my boss had probably done something stupid.

"Shit!" I yelled, looking for a place to hide. "Shit, shit, shit." I had no place inside my office - I looked to my door. I needed to flee. 

"I need .... to my office." She said and the speaker went off. 

"Fuck!" I screamed loudly grabbing my hair and rubbing my face. I grabbed my purse and entered the hallway. 

The second I opened my door - they were staring at me. Everyone's eyes on me as I walked holding my purse like someone would steal it.

"Oh my gosh-" Millie gushed to me, holding me as I walked and I saw my first glimpse of what they go through. "Who is it? Why are they here?" She asked a bazillion questions. 

"I don't know Millie." I laughed and she latched on tighter to me. She hyperventillated by my side as silence and stares and faint whispers were heard by the elevator. 

I couldn't believe this. I was angry. This was too far, he had no right to come to my work and talk to my boss? I sighed as my work came crashing down Millie's smile annoying me and I flung my purse over my shoulder watching the elevator ticket signal my elevator was here. 

I had my arms crossed as I excited out of the elevator, heading for my bosses office on a mission. I tried to be invisible but damned if my coworkers didnt put two and two together. 

I opened her office door and took in my surroundings. Not just him, but him and 3 other men I had never seen before stood beside him, and the Vice President of our entire company sat in my bosses chair as she stood, arms crossed, like me. 

Whatever it was, I did NOT do it. 

"What's wrong?" Was all I could figure to say. I had absolutley no idea what was happening and my boyfriend smiled. 

"Well..." He chimed, walking towards me and I already wanted to disagree. I knew this decision voice and the answer was no if he was in my bosses office. "Nothing is wrong." He urged, excitement pouring out his ears. "But I have some news." 

I sighed angrily. 

"And that is?" I asked rather rudely. 

"Remember when you said how much easier it would be to work from home from my house?" He asked, quieter and coming in very close to me. 

"What? Yeah, like once." I laughed because who remembers every stupid thing I say. He was probably naked because I OBVIOUSLY wasnt thinking correctly. 

"Well this guy made it happen." He excitedly pointed to the man in the middle, the man slightly raising his hand. I looked back at my idiotic boyfriend and was speechless. "And your bosses." He adverted the attention to the Vice President who smiled and rose as if he had waited for the attention to be adverted to him. He swerved around his desk, a warm smile on his face as the elderly man pined over my boyfriend. 

I gave my female boss a questioning glance but she was obviously under his spell too. 

"I'm confused." My brain struggling to catch up with the events. "You're sending me home again?" I asked my boss. "To his house?" I opened my hands as I signalled to the heavens to please end this misery. 

"My name is Choi." A middle aged man dressed way top young for my liking smiled, exiting out of the BigHit line of men with an extended hand. "I'm his assistant." I extended my hand and shook his, my other hand still clutching my other arm. "And that is my boss." He directed his finger to the other man and I nodded at him who didn't budge. He looked like he belonged in an action movie, standing like he was ready to pounce at any second. 

"I like working here." I laughed, looking around at everyone. "In the office." I sat down now, claiming a chair as my boyfriend walked to the chair and leant beside it. 

"Completley out of line I know." He said kneeling without his knees touching the floor, balancing on his feet. "But I want you to move in with me." 

"What?" I whispered out- this came out of left field. "What?" I asked again then quickly gave my answer. "No." 

"No?" He laughed at me and it was impossible not to smile at him. 

"No!" I laughed louder standing up now. "... I can't move in with you, you are gone all the time!" He shook his head trying to take charge of his absence. 

"Im actually home a lot." He smiled. "In and out yes, but this would be so much better." He grabbed my hands and my Vice President cleared his throat. Heads turned to him and I shook my hands away from him. 

"No." I laughed, looking for my purse so I could leave. "No! This is crazy!" I said again. "All of you are crazy." I made a quick gesture around the room l with my finger. I stormed to the door hoping he wouldn't run after me, and he didnt. 

Because he couldn't. 

I couldn't breathe. I took the stairwell down to the garage and left. Driving away I went a certain way to get to the highway to see the helicopter and sure enough - it was there. 

"Ugh!" I yelled in the safety of my car, trying to think or do anything not involving him. My phone rang and I screamed throwing it in the backseat, cursing myself because I didnt turn it to silence. I turned the music to drown out the sound of someone calling. 

I arrived home, leaving my phone in the car and went to sleep. 

-*

I managed to ignore him for a day and a half. 

He then showed up at my door and wasn't happy. 

"What?" I asked after seeing him and not the food I ordered when I opened my door. 

"Really?" He huffed, hitting my door hard allowing himself entrance. "What? Is how you greet me?" 

"What are you doing here!" I yelled bewildered once the door shut.

"I can't come see my girlfriend now?" He asked and i rolled my eyes. 

"Fine." I stated and he narrowed his eyes at me, taking small steps towards me as a grin formed on his face. 

"I can't tell her how much I miss her?" He questioned in disbelief and I looked away with a small shake of the head. 

"Stop it." I said. "I'm not moving in with you." I had my finger pointed at him and he did stop walking, pausing to eye me slowly and took another step. 

"If you did, I wouldn't have to come here." 

"You never come here." I laughed, my knowledge of this situation returning to me as my nerves had settled. I wasn't going to. "No." 

"..." He chimed my name, then bit his bottom lip about two steps in front of me. He had weased himself in front of my view and once I looked at him I reminded myself I had to be strong. 

There was absolutely no way I could move in with him. No. No. No. 

"Okay." He nodded and with a smirk he turned around. "I'll just be leaving then." 

I extended my hands and rolled my eyes at his flip flop movements. I'll come to you, I will leave now. I was conflicted on what I wanted, the thought of becoming even closer to him horrifying. 

"You just call me when you are ready to talk like an adult." He spat and anger won me over quickly. 

"That's not how this works and you know it!" I yelled and he didnt stop at the door. He was leaving. 

"Is it working?" He asked and my heart shattered. 

"What?!" I asked him again, my feet fluttering to him. He was in my hallway now eager to get away from me. "Stop walking!" I grabbed his arm with his hand in his pocket. "Why do you want me to move in with you?" I was trying to pull him to slow his walking or stop, anything while he walked swiftly. Now I was begging for him to stay. I felt so pathetic.

"I'm done talking about it." He said quietly to me, and I pushed him hard. 

He finally stopped.

"You didn't talk to me about it ...!" I screamed his name and he flailed silently in the hallway.

"Shut up." He said slowly with wide eyes, and I apoligized as he headed back towards my apartment by my hand. Once the door closed and were safe in his mind in my apartment, I began to chastise.

"You didn't say anything and you showed up at my job, got my workplace in a frenzy about a bighit helicopter on the fucking roof, and now like 20 more people know." 

"It was two, but I understand." He held up two fingers but put them away cutely when I didn't respond in a smile. "You had said it would be easier, I was just trying to help." He explained and I pulled him to sit on the couch with me. 

"I don't think they can help with the kind of help we need." I laughed and holding his hands. "Look." I looked him in the eye and he looked in mine. "I like you." I poked his leg and he smiled. "But I can't move in with you." 

-*

Two days later, guess who moved in. 

What had I done?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story is almost over guys :(


	15. Bad Boys

The first time I was in the house alone, it was creepy. 

Creepy, cold, big and unknown - It was late at night and i was hungry. Tired and hungry from a day spent moving, I tiptoed on the tile careful not to disturb anything around me. I opened the fridge and waa half disappointed. Groaning and choosing the quickest thing to make, I made a list in my head of things I still needed to do. 

I now had an office. An actual office, not just a section of my bedroom with information tacked on the wall. A room, he designated for my work things putting on this serious face when talking about my office - if only he knew a better majority of my day was spent slacking off and browsing pinterest. 

The first few days were very hard for me. I didn't feel like I belonged, I hated being alone and if I left I had a whole checklist of things to do before and after I walked out that door. 

I lingered back towards the bedroom, smiling at a framed record achievement as I passed it stopping at the bedroom door. 

The bedroom was definently his taste, and even though he begged me to put my items in they looked out of place. I didn't want to invade his space. I threw a lot of my things away before the move, most I realized I didn't need, care or want. 

I enjoyed sleeping in his bed the first evening by myself. It was fun and exciting and only mine, but by the second night it was scary. 

It was a definite adjustment I had to make. Learning how to navigate quietly within his world, I wasn't sure how to add myself into his equation without him. 

The first time he left I honestly had no idea how long it would be until he returned freely to his abode. He had said it would be "a few days", and 4 days later ... he scared the crap out of me. 

The doorbell rang that Thursday and I ignored it, knowing I couldn't answer the door anyways. I couldn't answer phones, I couldn't do a lot of things. I was doing one thing I could do - which was work. 

With my papers now carefully taped to the wall because I didnt want to make thousands of pinholes in his wall, myself completely concentrated on my current file. 

The front door opening and shutting got my attention. My eyes went wide at the sound of someone breaking in, myself panicking and quietly shutting the office door. It could have been a cleaning lady, but she could clean my office later. It wasn't the day they normally came - but I wasn't the household maid planner so I wasn't sure. 

It was the middle of the day, a little after lunchtime, and whoever was there was now knocking at my closed door. 

"Im okay." I said to the door returning to my file on the computer screen. 

"Open this door!" He laughed, knocking politely and my chair fell back in the quickness I had stood up. I had to pick up the chair and unlocked the door with a caught smile. 

"I thought you were the maid." I laughed as we hugged and kissed. 

"Not the maid." He said against my lips, breaking the kiss but kissing me quickly before taking off down his hallway towards the kitchen. "Let's eat! I blew off lunch so hopefully I can eat here before I go back." 

He answered every question I had. He was not staying long, overnight, and he also had no food. 

"You don't have much." I appeared beside the fridge as he shut up, guiding me to his pantry. 

"You? What's this you business?" He opened the pantry door and grinned at me. "This is our food." He announced with a grin. 

"Well, we haven't gone to the store yet." 

"Here." He said lowly, pulling his wallet from his back pocket. "Order lunch, and then order groceries to be delivered." He handed me a credit card. 

"Alright, anything you prefer?" I asked slightly excited. He rambled off a few things, and on about the 4th I had grabbed a peice of paper and started writing them down. 

I ordered the food for him quickly, still trying listen to his instructions - and there were suddenly a lot. I had questions too, what the piles of clothes everywhere meant? How did I close the window I accidentally opened? 

He ate like he hadnt eaten for days, and I wished I would have ordered more. While he ate I ventured back to my office to check on my work that was stalled, thanks to a quick text to my boss. 

I could eventually see his reflection lingering at the door. He had on blue jeans again, and he had one leg crossed over the other. 

"Yes ...?" I said his name looking at my computer screen. 

"Are you working?" He said, a phrase I would soon hear a lot of. I clicked a few more times sending my final email, and closed the screen, seeing him pop himself off the frame and stand up straight. 

"Not anymore." I sang, swinging my chair around with one foot. 

"Good." He wiggled his finger for me to follow him. I stood and followed him to his bedroom. 

"Oh did you have something in mind." I fakely giggled as he took his shirt off, discarding the yellow fabric on the floor as he headed to the bed. 

"Fucking hell yes I do." He turned and smiled at me, my heart stopping. "Ive had something on my mind for a few days now." He purred our lips connecting feverishly, my hands enjoying every second of his shirtless self. He picked me up, my legs wrapping around his waist as he carried me to the bed. I fell back with a careful planned fall, his body fitting onto mine and his hands going to quickly remove clothes. We were naked in seconds, myself bravely pushing him to lay on the bed. I wanted to make him feel as good as he did to me. 

"Holy shit." He gasped, his hand gripping my hair, pulling my head back with force. I didn't complain, he held my head for half a second and released my hair, myself going back down as far as I could go again. My lips and tongue caused him to rub his chest, himself unsure if he should touch himself or my head. 

"You like?" I asked, coming off his dick with a pop and a smile. 

"Fuck." He grunted his answer, him leaning forward getting up to meet our lips again. He was forceful this time, pushing me back and hovering over me. 

The pleasure seemed to last forever, nothing to interrupt, nothing to hold us back. I didn't have to think about my exit - nothing. 

"...." he warned, pushing his hair out of his eyes. My body was readying for its release, and I was not in control. "Ok...ok..." He panted as he readjusted his pace and position getting close to barrel towards our finish. 

"Okay wait, wait." I paused him, rubbing my face and trying to calm my nerves for a moment. I wiped stray beads of sweat away from his temple, kissing him longingly. Mid kiss he began again, him liking my whine I let out. 

I climaxed with a yell of his name, him finishing shortly after - myself still not caught up in my breaths. He rolled over and was concerned with cleaning me up. 

"I'm fine." I smiled, grabbing his hand and holding it just wanting to be close to him. "Let's just relax." He urged. He kissed my forhead rising to his feet and stretching, myself grinning and poking his side with my foot. 

"You relax, I need to get back." He announced, guiding my foot back to bed delicately. 

"Right now?" I laughed, sitting up. The pillow was too far for me to cover myself with, so I sat naked. 

"Yes I am already late." He complained to himself as he slipped his pants back on. As he put his shirt on, I was able to grab a pillow and hold it over my top half happy it automatically covered the bottom. "Don't forget to go shopping." He reminded heading to the bed as I quickly drank my water. 

"Got it." I said, him kissing me far too quickly and pushing off to head to the door. "When will you be back?" I yelled, unwanting to run through the house naked and I looked around to find my shirt wadded together with my pants. 

"Tomorrow!" He yelled from somewhere in the house. 

The door shut, and I was alone again. I took a deep breath and looked around the room, slowly putting my clothes on. 

-*

The next day, his return was much different. Later in the day he returned home, the faint beeping from my alarm panel letting me know the door had opened. 

I was prepared today, dressed and cute. I tried to calm my excited nerves as I sat and waited for him to find me exactly as he did yesterday. 

I finished my work with a questioning mind of where he was. I didnt see him in the reflection even once. 

I walked exited my office, heading to the living room. 

"...?" I called out after seeing his keys, wallet and phone on the coffee table. I recieved no answer and turned to head to the bedroom. 

It hadn't been but a few minutes since his arrival, and I spotted him sleeping on his bed. I smirked to myself, entering the room quietly to get a better look at my sleeping beauty. I exited the room and went to the living room alone, regretting that I got excited and texted the boss lady and now I was sitting alone. 

Hours passed. Dinnertime passed. I didn't want to wake him up, so a lot of the early evening hours we spent debating on whether or not I should go wake him up. 

I let him sleep, worried about myself actually going to sleep now that it was actually bedtime. I had brought him some food just in case he did wake up, setting the plate down quietly on the nightstand and taking a quick shower. I have never climbed into a bed more slowly and carefully, careful not to wake or disturb him. I noticed he had eaten one of the sandwiches I had made, but noticed the other half on his nightstand and scoffed to myself that he probably didn't like it. 

He felt my presence and in his dream state he called one of his band members. 

"..." He named another member in his sleep and rolled over cuddling me, myself doing everything I possibly could to stay still and not laugh. He had actually done this once before, right after a tour and it was even funnier now than before. It was the same name, and I laughed to myself in my thoughts settling into the bed. I was grinning unable to hide my smile as I adjusted his arm around me, perhaps he was sawing the band member in half in his dream. 

I couldn't wait for morning when I would tell him alllll about this. 

-*

Something I quickly learned is the boy has a lot of clothes. I thought I had a lot, I was strongly mistaken. He had stacks of clothes, a maybe pile, a give to this person pile ... I decided to tackle the clothes piles.

He had a washer and dryer. It looked new and expensive, with bare buttons and it was shiny and intimidating. I searched the entire house and discovered he had probably never used his washer as there was no wash soap. I doubted it was in his studio. I opened the washer, the spring echoing in the room causing me to smile again. 

I gave clothes away, hung clothes up, I learned to freaking iron, and eventually I bought detergent because I too had clothes to wash. The asinine thing about this was this was just his "washing at home clothes" - he actually sent clothes out to be dry cleanined. Clothes were contantly moving through this household and he spent less than 72 hours in this entire week. 

It was an overcast day when I adventured out to buy some soap. I hadn't been shopping in some time, and I had personally just gotten paid and wanted some sweets. Chocolate protein powder just doesn't do the job as an impromptu dessert, and the milk tasted funny. 

I shopped till I felt like I was going to drop on that Saturday, giggling to myself as I passed a billboard of his on the highway. 

I am unsure of the exact moment I noticed the same car behind me for the 3rd stoplight. I tuened suddenly, them turning their blinker on last minute and I gasped. 

I kept trying to tell myself this wasnt happening. People drove. I follow people accidentally all the time. I took another left, now lost, and he followed. 

"Shit!" I screeched, going pressing on the gas and screaming at my car's bluetooth to call my sister. 

"Your worst nightmare, at your service." She picked up and I gripped my steering wheel tighter. 

"I think someone is following me!" I yelled into the front of my car, unsure where the microphone was. "Someone is following me!" 

"Okay where is ..." She questioned the whereabouts my boyfriend and I scoffed. 

"He's at work!" I screamed "Where the fuck else would he be." 

"Calm down, stop yelling." She instructed and I quietly hyperventilated. "Where are you?" 

"On the highway." I answered. "Passing B street, heading towards downtown." I named off my surroundings.

"Can you see the plate?" She asked. "Read me the plate." 

I read off the plate as she read off the information. 

"How is your gas? Can you come to the station... I am at the station." 

"I have a full tank." I sighed relief as I had just filed up yesterday. "I will need to turn around..." I warily admitted, racing fever taking over as I crossed 2 lanes quickly to exit last minute. 

The car followed. 

"He's still behind me!" I screamed. 

"Stop yelling ...." She scolded nicely. "What did you do today?" 

"I didn't do anything!" I laughed. "I bought laundry soap and picked up ..'s clothes..." The moment I said it I realized it. "Oh God." 

"Oh God what?" She asked quickly, worry in her voice. "Keep me updated, talk to me." 

"Oh God..." I whined, everything coming back to light. There were not men out to kill me in the car following me - it was two girls. "... these girls were there and I didn't say anything but maybe they recognized his clothes or something." I whined. "I just want to go home." 

"Do NOT GO HOME." She demanded and I knew that much. 

"I'm almost there, where do I go?" I asked once I exited off the highway, my new friends blinker late to the party behind us. 

"Come into the back and we will put you inside the lot. Ill check your car." 

"Check my car for what?" I asked. 

"Explosives, nails, microphones, tracking..." 

"Okay." I laughed obviously underestimating the dry cleaning girls power. 

"Once you pull in, the road will split. Take the right lane and that leads to the impound lot in the back. If they follow you they are stuck." 

"Do they think he is in the car?" I asked. 

"Who knows." She answered. "I'm at the gate." 

"3 minutes." I let her know. 

I pulled in, them not taking the police lane bait. They continued driving only to have my sisters partner block the road up ahead and wait for them. 

"Get out and leave everything inside." She instructed and I removed myself from my car. "Purse included." She said and I wondered if she could see through objects. I dropped my purse and watch my sister get Inspector Gadget on my car. 

My world ended when she was near my rear tire, I couldn't see her top half as she was under it - but she exclaimed "Ah Ha!" Loudly. 

A tiny mishapen black box was skidded across the floor and stopped hitting my shoe. 

"Is that a bomb?" I asked, taking a large step away from the device. 

"No idiot, thats a tracker." She laughed. "I don't see anything else but I will have him look at it too." She nodded brushing her uniform off of the dirt that she had picked up on the floor. "Does whats his face have more cars?" She asked. 

"What's his face has more cars, yes." I answered and she shot me a look. "I only drive this one, this is my car." I pointed to the car around me. "What if it's his tracker?" 

My sister cocked her head to the side and looked at me ludicrously as she walked towards me. 

"Why would your boyfriend be tracking your whereabouts?" She asked. "Get him on the phone right now." 

"He won't answer, but fine." I rolled my eyes and called quickly. 

Third ring, he picked up. 

"Hello." He smiled, I smiled saying hello and my sister grabbed the phone from me. 

"This is Officer ... with the [City] PD, and sir, we have a Code 277, for a 32." I rolled my eyes are her use of code words. 32 was family I knew that much. 

"Really?" I asked quietly, and my big loving sister who came to my rescue pushed my head back hard and walked away as she continued her show over the phone. "Ow." I said rudely, following her a few paces behind. I was on terf and I knew at any given chance she would use me for a police dummy. 

I hated that again I was not in control of this situation. I was followed, leading me to have to call my sister, who then called my boyfriend, and her partner was involved. 

"Two days?" She asked and looked at me. Ah, she must have asked when he would be back. I smiled at her. "Well I need your permission for that." She turned away from me, and whoa.... permission? 

"...." I was now attempting to lightly pester her, herself still talking to him as I leaned around her, all the while not touching. "What are you doing?" I whispered and she shot me a police look that actually did make me nervous. I stood back because this was serious. 

I didn't want to get hurt, I sure as hell didn't want him to ... the only thing I knew was I couldn't go home. And now I had my bratty sister involved currently plotting with my boyfeiend over the phone without me. 

"Ask about ..." I whispered to her, throwing the name of his sleeping buddy. 

"... wants to know how ... is." My sister said into the phone and I gasped laughing. "He just hung up on me." She narrowed her eyes at me holding my phone. "We need to go see him." She said handing me the phone. 

"We can't go where the boys are!" I laughed at her, jumping a bit. This was starting adrenaline and I was trying not to get too excited about my tracker. 

"I have a badge to let me go where the boys are." She rolled her eyes. "He is waiting, lets go." She wiggled her hand as she held the door to her patrol car. 

"Can't i take my car?" I asked, pointing to my prized beauty. 

"Having a bad also gives me access to chloroform, do you know what that is?" She asked and I grunted my response and climbed in the front seat. "Gotta go pick up Frankenstein, should we turn the siren on?" She grinned at me, finger on the noise maker. 

"Please no." I said quietly snapping my seat belt shut and she removed her finger. 

*-

Frankenstein and Officer BitchFace walked on either side of me, my heart pounding as their door got closer. I exhaled loudly reminding myself it was just a everyday thing to come by your idol boyfriends condo, and meet the boys with your sister. 

They were back in police mode, talking about things I couldn't understand. They would say 32, and I think they had nicknamed my boyfriend Baby Driver. Someone was Baby driver. 

My sister tapped on their front door and I closee my eyes for a moment, praying to the heavens she didnt embarrass me. 

Thankfully, my prayers went answered. Nothing was found on their cars, and Frankenstein even had a machine to find other machines, a sweep of the house coming up empty. 

I didn't like being in their house. I ended up escaping to the porch, needing to be around fresh air and away from the drama suddenly surrounding me. 

I had a strange feeling everything was going to be okay. 

I was horribly wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Buckle your seatbelts kids, we about to get caught


	16. Going Away To College

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Grammar mistakes

Months passed before the mistake was made. The one tiny wrong decision that would ultimately collide with the world; an explosion no one saw coming. 

-*

It was a normal request, to a normal person. He forgot his phone. I was to bring the phone to him. 

So I waited in my car, my hair up in a loose bun that was probably the start of my problems. I should have shaved it off. I was parked like I always was, hidden and inconspicuous, singing along to the song on tbe radio while I watched two birds apparently fight to the death over a McDonald's french fry. 

The door opened and he climbed into my front seat, sweaty and smelling horrible as he attacked my neck with his lips once the door was closed. 

"Gross!" I laughed, trying to push him away but his slick arm made it hard. "Gross." I said again as he grinned, myself wiping his saliva off my skin. 

"What?" He laughed, licking his lips and leaning back against the door. 

"I know they have showers!" I laughed pointing at the building. "You've come home with wet hair before." 

"Are you wet?" He whispered, inches from me with another smirk. 

"Not anymore." I winked and kissed his lips quickly. He fakely scoffed, eagerly running his eyes over me and I wondered if he was on drugs. Maybe they just drugged them, he was just way too happy. 

"Well that can change." He smiled, licking his lips to kiss my neck, after contact I pushed him back again. 

"Here is your phone." I handed the phone and he rolled his eyes and threw it lazily into the backseat. 

"I have like 4 of those stupid things." 

"...!" I laughed his name as I unbuckled and leant to get the phone. "No!... Aah!" He tickled and that buckled my elbow, and I went careening into the backseat face first. "Oh my gosh!" I laughed as he giggled landing awkwardly onto me. 

"...!" I laughed his name out again, as he kissed me. His hands grasped my head covering my ears, gluing a strand of hand awry. "You're crazy." I whispered. 

"Muah, gotta go now." He kissed my lips quickly and his hands left my ears as he made his escape out of my backseat. 

"Oh my gosh." I laughed at the situation of being alone in my backseat hot and suddenly bothered by the boy who left me this way. I climbed into the front seat, and there was his phone. 

Sitting in my drivers seat, I grabbed it as I reclimbed into the seat, opening the door and running aftee him. 

"Hey!" I was careful not to say his name, but I whispered yelled just in case. He turned quickly and his large smile returned as he grinned and began walking towards me. "Your phone!" I out stretched my arm with the phone towards him, he slowly jogged up and met me with a grab of the phone slash hug. 

"Thank you my love." He said and turned the other way, heading for the entrances to his building. I did the same, turning promptly and walking as fast as I could with a small smile on my face. 

-*-

I had approximately 4 hours.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Grab your tissues kiddos, this next chapter is a sad one. 
> 
> *smirks*


	17. Bad Things

Filled with grammar mistakes

Sitting in the apartment a short while after I had returned home, I received a phone call from someone at BigHit. I was muching on some chips, and got excited, munching faster to clear my throat to answer. 

He had called once before from "the office" if you will, and since their phone numbers change like babies diapers, he had called me give me his new number originally but this call was much different. 

I clicked the little green button swallowing the remainder of my food. 

"Hello." I said sweetly, my smile lingering as I waited to hear his voice. 

"Hey, um," He paused for a millisecond and I already knew something was wrong. The tone in his voice was lower, he was in trouble or sad. "I need you to come here." He stated and my world stopped. 

"What?" I asked quickly. "Are you okay?" My mind was running over a thousand possibilites other than the actual, and I stood quickly to begin frantically looking for my keys. 

"Yes I am fine." He said. "You just need to come now." 

"I'm coming, I'm coming." I said ... not finding my keys but pretending I had. "Do I need to bring you anything? Are you introuble? What happened?" I was rattling off questions. 

"Just hurry up." He stated, and I knew he was mad. At me?, probably but I was coming. "I have to go now." He stated and I paused in my search. 

"... what's wrong?" I used his name and the line clicked. "Dammit!" I screamed into the empty apartment; finally finding my keys almost 2 minutes later. 

-*

After clearing security, being passed to a security guard, I began my walk with the guard to where I could only guess was my pissed off boyfriend. It was surreal walking through the halls, his halls, littered with their smiling faces on the walls. I wasn't supposed to be here. 

I started to figure out I could be in trouble. The security guard had a gun, and while my sister had taught me about guns because she had to carry one - I realized how alone I was. 

We came to the President's door, and I knew a death sentence awaited. I wetted my lips as the guard opened the door for me, and I walked in. 

The room was big and spacious, the guard leaving me alone inside the vast room. My eyes searched the space for anyone, myself gasping and running towards my boyfriend who was sitting on the couch. Upon sight of me his eyes lit up and I had to cover the creeping feeling this was coming to an end.

"What the hell happened?" I whispered, looking around as I touched his hand even though I knew we were alone. 

"There's a picture." He stated and I had to focus on breathing. His mannerisms were off. I was holding him, touching and connected - but he wouldn't look at me. "So they will break us up." He explained with annoyance. "I'm really sorry." 

He finally looked at me and my heart dropped. 

"Don't be sorry, I'm not sorry. Don't be sad, ok?" I was talking in haste, slowly realizing this was the end. He slighty huffed, looking away from me and sniffled once. 

"I'm just really sorry." He wasnt looking at me and spoke barely above a whisper. He had his eyes closed and once the door clicked he squeezed my hand hard and let it go. 

We were done. 

"Great, she is already here." Someone chimed as my boyfriend and I rose to our feet to walk and greet the new people. "Please have a seat." 

I was introduced, being as smiley and polite as I could knowing they were about to ruin my life. I was told again nicely to sit down, my boyfriend never once looking at me. 

I was told I was a complication in his life. A distraction. He didn't need thing's like me in his life. 

I guess that's how they viewed me, just a bad idea in his head gone too far. It annoyed me when I looked at my boyfriend now ex boyfriend, he wouldn't look at me. He sat, jaw clenched, and I had a feeling BigHit would be repairing some walls after this. He never said a word. 

Apparantly in my going above and beyond; myself picking up his dry cleaning was a no no. That is how this all started. 

Eventually, someone [illegally] used their brain - and thus the people following me. He placed a picture on the table and I looked at it. I wanted to point out how happy my boyfriend looked in the picture getting into the front seat of my car. It was from mere hours ago - when I dropped off his phone. 

Then another picture was placed on top of that one, with a snap in the corner for accentuating the gentleman was angry, and now he got out of the backseat. 

I took a deep breath, way too loud I decided, as the third fluttered down atop the others, myself dreading to see how I was captured. It was an okay picture, if I had to rank myself I would have given er a 8.5. 

I swallowed again, as two more were placed down seconds apart. Just more as we smiled at eachother and the phone. 

My eyes fluttered to the speaker. 

"So." He sang, and I actually jumped. "We have a problem." He looked at me for a moment, myself staying silent and did bye same to the man on my left. His precious by-product under contract, not my silly boyfriend that chases me around the apartment with a water gun. 

He told us we would break up. As if we didn't have a choice in the matter at hand. I was given a whole list of things I needed to do - as well as he. I was told it was all my fault that he did this, as if it was me that made the first move onto the famous idol. Since he had to pay to make the pictures go away - he would basically pay to make me go away. 

It was getting harder to look to my left. He had adjusted himself slightly, most of the trouble was directed at me. He had already had his speech. 

I was then humiliatingly escorted out by the same guard, who made sure to have security take my picture upon exit. I imagined it was for their Wall Of Girlfriends you cant let in. 

The moment I got to my car, I broke down. I wanted to get off the property, so with tears streaming down my face I drove a tiny bit and parked to cry. I couldn't remember the last time I cried. 

I was mad. Heartbroken. All of my items were there at his house. Another loud cry once I remembered I gave a lot of my furnishings away when I moved months ago. We had been together for a long time and now... I sat alone in the car. Always alone. 

I picked up my phone and checking it, ignoring the text message and calling my sister. 

"...." I managed to enunciate her name through sobs. 

"...?" She asked and I wondered if she had other random friends calling her out of the blue. 

"I have to break up with ..." I whined, expelling my final cry. 

"What?" She asked. "I cant hear you." She said through static. "Frankie and I are undercover." 

"I HAVE TO MOVE OUT -" 

The line beeped as she had hung up and I threw my phone on the floor board and frustration. 

"Ugh!" I screamed, now fully angered at my entire situation and life, and headed home. 

I decided I would stay at a hotel and during the weekend begin to look for an apartment. They gave me money, might as well live well while they beat me down. I did need to deposit that check too!

It surprised me how quick I thought on my feet. I booked the hotel after a quick gas up, and munching on food in the car. I went to the hotel, and checked in. I was back to being me, myself and I... and he hadnt even crossed my mind once and it had been, I checked my clock, 2 hours. 

Look at me go!

I ate again, ordering food from the hotel; I figured I could get fat since we were broken up now. I had to eventually go back and get my clothes and work things - I didnt want to imagine the number of trips I was going to have to take to get everything out. 

I stayed at my new hotel room until my sister called me (finally), I was dreading going back to the apartment. I was scared to death someone from the company would be there, even though I already knew that was not allowed. They didn't have control over that apartment, only the one all the boys lived in. My boyfriends own apartment was exactly that, his own. 

So, as Frankenstein looked down every hallway on the walk too, and constantly talked about how be could "smell the money" in this place, we three headed to pack my items. 

Only, upon reaching his door - there was a note. 

"I will inspect it!" Frankie announced, dropping all boxes he held and diving for the baby blue paper taped to the door. 

Him and my sister faught over it. I opened the door with the code - they took my key. I stepped inside and Frankie lost all interest in the note now that the door was open. 

"Dayummm." He announced, nodding his head and looking around. My sister entered with wide amazed eyes too as I took steps into the apartment they whispered by the door. "So this is how the other half lives." My sister hit him hard on the chest with her backhand. 

"So the computer is this way..." I tried to coerce them down the hallway as Frankie's interest went back to the note. 

"It's from the neighbor." She whispered, holding it to her chest excitedly and pulling it back to read over again. I dropped my hand as obviously we were not focused on getting my computer. "Okay it says -" 

"Don't care." I snapped, crunching the paper away from her in one downward swoop. She ripped it in half and screamed when she held up the tiny ripped peice. 

"Don't care?" She yelled at me, running to catch up with Frankie and I. "Don't you want to know what it says? The boys have a pl-" 

I held my hand up with a disinterested tired look. 

"I don't want to hear about it." I said simply. "I need these two monitors and ..." I paused as my sister threw her hands up in the air and walked away. "Where are you going?!" I yelled. 

"To see the neighbor!" She yelled. 

I stood at my desk admiring it - until her neighbor flashed into my mind. Jooheon. 

"Oh Shit!" I yelled running for the door, leaping over a box as I ran out the office. "....!" I was yelling her name wishing I hadn't eaten that stupid dessert. 

She was two steps away from his door and as she stopped and turned to me, she lifted her hand to knock and kept it in the air toying with me. She lifted her chin in a challenge.

"Okay look." I put my hand out and felt as if I was in a hostage situation. 

"Okay look what?" She asked, cop mode on and she was winning. God, I hated her. "They have a plan. I want to hear the plan." She waved her tiny peice of blue paper she still had attached in her other hand. 

"I don't." I begged. 

"Why the fuck not ...!" She argued, the hand went down. "The boy likes you." She rolled her eyes. "He obviously doesnt want to break up so lets just hear his plan." 

"Fine we will hear the plan and then we will leave." I huffed, losing again for the day. Her hand rose and she knocked loudly three times. "Geez, Less police more neighborly." I laughed walking to stand beside her. 

"Is the pow wow out here?" Frankie asked, walking out of my boyfriends apartment with an unopened boxed coffee maker. "Aye, you think he'd notice this is missing?" 

"Frankie!" I whispered yelled, and he frowned and turned back inside. 

The door opened and my sister said the first words. 

"Holy fucking shit." She gasped in. 

"Hey neighbor." I smiled at my neighbor and then looked to my sister. She let a raggedy shocked breath out and put on the ugliest smile I have ever seen. 

"I was not expecting this neighbor." She said through a smile. "You could have told me." She told me. 

"Stop smiling, its weird." I told her and turned to my neighbor who looked amused and confused. "This is my sister. She's a cop." 

"I can see." He smiled, moving to lean against the door with a smirk as he obviously checked my sister out. 

"Gross." I said flatly and blinked a few times. "Are you going to let us in, or is the plan to leave us standing in the hallway?" 

His eyes lingered on my sister momentarily before coming back to me, losing some of his smile. 

"The plan was for you to shut up and listen." And he popped the door open, catching it with his hand, and then nodding his head directing us to come in. 

"Oh great." I said quietly and sarcastically ducking under his arm to come inside. My sister called for Frankie on the radio and we went inside. 

-*

The first thing he did when we sat on the couch was call my boyfriend.


	18. Halo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! So this is the final chapter in this story. 
> 
> I hope you like it - i was NOT going to have them end up together so I had to work some stuff in. 
> 
> Jooheon's back being a great neighbor. Proud Grandpa is back.
> 
> I had A BLAST writing this. I wanted to write something that could be anyone of them! 
> 
> At the end of this I will write who I had in mind writing a MAJORITY of this. :) hahahar

-*

The first thing he did when we sat on the couch was call my boyfriend. The three of us sat on the couch, myself still not hearing a plan and I wasn't too thrilled that most of my boyfriends plans with me involve a requirement of myself being naked. 

"Is she there yet?" He finally answered, asking worriedly after far too many rings. He sounded pained through the speaker phone, my breathing slowing but my heartbeat quickening.

"No, not yet." Jooheon lied, and I extended my hands and silently physically wondered why he would lie in a time like this. Jooheon cockily held a finger up as he spoke, my boyfriend answering in a frustrated growl on the other end.

"Where in the world could she be?" He asked with a sigh. 

"She's probably just scared. She will come home eventually." Jooheon consoled his friend as he stood walking around his living room. 

"Why did you call?" He suddenly asked rudely. 

"What did you say earlier?" Jooheon asked quickly, in a way that made me crinkle my eyebrows at him. "About ..., what did you say?" 

There was a long pause, and slight shuffling on the other end of the line.

"I thought we agreed to not talk about that." He spoke low and quiet and my sister had to cover her mouth to hold her laughter in. 

"I know, but come on." Jooheon was now heading back towards the couch like the mission had been completed. "I'm bored staring out this window waiting for her to go tape this stupid letter on your door." He paused as he quietly sat and winked at Frankenstein who couldn't lose his smile if he died. "Please tell me." He pouted fakely looking dead into my eyes. He held the phone closer, and as I stared at the black screen for what seemed like an eternity, I heard the mumble perfectly. 

"That I love her." 

He spoke in a confused manner, and everyone but Jooheon gasped. My eyes flashed to Jooheon's in shock as my head started to feel dizzy. 

"Just kidding, she's here!" Jooheon laughed, wiggling the phone in front of me as he buckled over and laughed. 

"I'm sorry, what?" He asked, sounding angry again. He was tricked. "Did she hear that?" He asked and Jooheon and I played a silent game of phone pass. He held the phone, pushing in my direction wanting me to take it from him.

I mouthed No, and he would nod and say Yes; all the while I am feeling completely done with this situation. 

"Why is no one talking!" My boyfriend whined and Jooheon's phone was now touching my cheek.

"I th-" Jooheon spoke, removing the phone from my face and paid his attention to his own electronic. "I think she's in shock." He stated leaning back. 

"Does she even know the plan?" He asked his friend and I could tell he was getting aggrivated at his friend. 

"Uh uh." He quirked a sound for no twice and I rolled my eyes and grabbed the phone. 

"What do you want ...?" I rudely asked once I snatched the phone; balacing my elbows on my knees as I sat uncomfortably. There was a thud or movement on the other line followed by silence. He was moving somewhere. The sound of a door shutting caused me to rub my temples - I was just so done with this day. "Okay I know thing's arent looking up right now." He said fast and quietly. I watched my sister as he spoke, whe was listening to my boyfriend and unable to tear her eyes away from Jooheon. 

"..." I spoke his name as he rambled, him talking through the first call out. "...!" I was more assertive. 

"What?" He asked. "I don't have much time here ...," 

"What's this bullshit about you loving me?" I asked and Jooheon widened his eyes at my tone. 

"What?" He asked quickly. "I didn't say that." He denied. 

I laughed slightly shaking my head even though he couldnt see me. 

"I definitely don't love you." He repeated and I looked at Jooheon with a smirk. 

"Good." I stated rudely. We would touch on that point later. "What's the plan." 

"Jooheon will tell you the plan." He said moving again. I could hear a slight echo as he walked and talked. He was speaking very low and muffled and Jooheon stood mimicking how he was probably walking covering his mouth and phone receiver. "I gotta go, Jooheon will tell you the plan. Do not leave my apartment. Do you hear me? Do not leave my apartment." He stated. "Bye." He said quickly. 

"That wasn't a plan." I stated to Jooheon standing up. "Lets go." I told my two cops. 

"What about the plan?" Jooheon asked. I stared him down with a heavy sigh. 

"What about it?" I laughed rudely. "What about the part where we were told to break up? I don't want to go to jail!" I cried pointing at my sister. "She'd be there and make my life even more miserable." 

My sister tilted her head slightly and agreed, because she knew deep down she would at least once if I actually did ever get introuble. 

"Well I'm not going until we hear a plan." My sister pouted and Jooheon grinned at her. "Frank?" She asked and Frankie looked like a scared puppy as he reluctantly sat down again. 

"Okay wait here! No one move!" He was excited now, arms outstretched as he ran to the back of his own apartment and returned to his living room with a female. "Everyone, this is my girlfriend." She gave an embarrased half wave as Jooheon showed off an actual human he had just magically produced from the back of his house.

"Hello all." She said shyly and I fell in love with her smile. Beautiful and breathtaking. My boyfriend should never meet this woman. 

"She's lived here for almost three years." Jooheon pointed to the woman, and my sister choked on her spit from the couch. 

"Im sorry!" She laughed, hitting her chest continuing to cough. "Unexpected bit of information, please continue." She whispered, apologizing hiding her face. Frankie giggled.

"How many times have we broken up babe?" He asked guiding her to sit on the couch next to me. 

"6 times." She smiled. "Only one of those was a decision made by us." She held one slender perfectly manicured finger up and I was hypnotized. 

"She didn't need to know that part." Jooheon rolled his eyes focusing back on me. "So, how is your memory?" 

"My memory?" I laughed. 

"Fuck, well, now they are doomed." My sister grunted to Frankie from the couch. 

"Don't you two have some people to save or drug dealers to catch?" I pointed and my sister looked at me with a cocky smile. 

"Don't you have an idol boyfriend to reclaim?" She rolled her eyes and stood slowly. "Come on Frankie, lets go save some drug dealers." She urged him to the door saying their good byes. Frankie slowly followed making sure to shake hands and give a greeting. My sister did the same - complementing the girlfriend on something, and finally leaving. 

"Your sister seems very sweet." The girlfriend smiled warmly from the love seat beside the couch and I laughed, pointing towards the door she just departed through. 

"That one?" She laughed. "No way." He laughed this time. 

"4251937825." Jooheon rattled off some numbers, the beginning was the local area code. "Now repeat that back to me." He instructed me. 

"I wasn't listening!" I laughed. "Do it again." I whispered, sitting up slightly and repositioning myself. The girlfriend smirked and shook her head. Jooheon stared at me expectantly so I tried. 

"425 and I'm pretty sure there was a 6?" I asked trying to remember but couldn't. 

"There was no six." The girlfriend smiled quietly to herself. 

"So you are no good with memory, thats what you are telling me?" Jooheon asked with a smile towards me as he put his arm around his own lady sitting down beside her. 

"Why would I be memorizing numbers?" I asked curiously. 

"Because." The girlfriend smiled, getting excited and hitting Jooheon's leg. "We are going to a signing." She flashed a grin. 

"Why?" I asked not fully understanding. 

"Because all you need is his number. They change mine like clockwork, so ..." He paused and tilted his head towards his girlfriend, "The first time we were made to break up we were really pissed off." The girlfriend frowned fakely at me from beside him and I smiled at her. "It took me month's to find her." 

"I am so confused." I laughed, extending my hand out to ask a question. "Why do I need to memorize the numbers?" 

"So you can start dating again!" She exclaimed and Jooheon narrowed his eyes at me. 

"Do you not want to be with him?" He asked and I blinked twice of the forwardness of his question. 

In all honesty, at that certain point in time it was a big fat no. I still had hell to ahead of me, we were just entering purgatory. 

"I don't know." I laughed trying to remember why the hell I came back here. Ah, my computers. And I lost my muscles when the cops left. "It's not that I don't want to be with him it's just that it's..." I was trying to find a better word than hard. "Tiring." I settled with. 

Jooheon didn't like that answer at all. 

"You think its tiring for you?" He pointed at me, his voice squeaking as he laughed to himself. "He is probably cleaning and doing God knows what, and will be doing it for the next few nights." He explained with attitude. "You two are supposed to be a team." He pointed between myself and the blank spot next to me. "We are a team, right babe?" 

"Yah." She sang out cunningly. "Let's talk, without him." She said and Jooheon gasped, his mouth opened as he looked to his girlfriend. 

"Really?" He asked rudely and I slightly laughed from my spot on the couch. "Well then." He breathed out, his head looking at me as he slowly removed his arm from around her. "I want to break up." He pouted and she grinned to herself, glancing down before she stood up. 

"Good." She laughed and wiggled her hands for me to follow. "Let's go." 

-*

She led me by my hand, talking about how they did things at their own company. She verified no one would come to check if I actually moved out. If they did, they would need my boyfriends permission to enter the apartment to "check". 

Or a warrant, I thought, my sister's image coming into my mind as we walked into the most beautiful room-

"Holy shit." I said, covering my mouth. "Oh my gosh, I mean wow." I was amazed. "I'm pretty sure this is the best room ever." I laughed, still unable to stop admiring everything. 

"This, is my room." She bowed, extending her arms like a princess and I clapped quietly.

It was obviously a female's room. A gorgeous white four poster bed, with a delicate Cinderella topper, matching furniture, an office in one corner, a door to a balcony. 

"If I was going to live here without him then I had some requirements." She dramatically turned, grabbing her bed post- signaling her requirements. 

"You're funny." I laughed. "Okay so what then? I learn some numbers, get so-" 

"Wait, wait, wait." She cut me off and I quieted. "So I am going to explain how we do it, how I taught myself to do this. It may not work with you and that is okay, alright?" 

Can this woman adopt me? 

"What are we doing?" I asked quickly realizing I still, had yet, to hear the plan. 

"So listen." She gave me a look and walked towards me, pulling me towards her bed. "Please sit." She laughed, as I obviously nervously walked. "Please." She pushed my shoulders gently and I sat with her. She was smiling and I didn't feel bad or nervous at all. Just tell me the plan pretty lady. 

"We need to test your memory." She stood. 

-*

Two days had passed. I had moved my things back in after staying in the hotel only one evening. I hated the hotel. 

It was uncomfortable, and I tossed and turned all night. I didn't hear the annoying bird chirping in the early hours, and I most definitely missed his smell on the sheets. 

She had been over ever day, handful of her preparatiom the day before and now on day three I felt as if I had a small inkling that I may actually be able to do this. 

"4254196628" 

"4253196618" I repeated back.

I got 7 out of 10. 

"4258252847" 

9 of 10. 

I finally started to be able to memorize them fully. She wouldn't let me count on my fingers or basically do any sort of cheating method I conjured up. 

She got my sister the asshole cop involved by day 4, Jooheon's girlfriend starting to explain more of this process. 

This was a lot of work. 

"You do this everytime?" I asked during hour 3 of day 4 practice, sans my sister and her baton. 

"Everytime." She smiled at me. I liked her. 

"You heard the woman!" My sister snapped, the baton crashing down on the arm of the couch. "No sissy small talk, Everytime!" She hit it again and now the girlfriend seemed annoyed. 

"Come on." The girlfriend smiled warmly as I overplayed my dramatic smiling eyeroll and placed my hands in my lap reciting the nunber perfectly. "Yes!" She jumped clapping and screeching quietly. "Okay sister you ready?" She asked my sister and my heart felt dread. 

"Ready?" I whispered tilting my head. "What is she doing?" I pointed towards the grinning girl on the couch.

"You just dont worry about me." She sang with an evil smirk as she opened her baton and closed it. I rolled my eyes and the girlfriend recited her words. 

I had it, my sister hadn't done anything yet and I smiled proudly intaking a breath - when a pillow hit my head. 

"What?" I laughed grabbing the pillow and throwing it back. "Dammit, I forgot." I whined, shaking my feet on the ground below me. 

"You will have distractions. It will be loud, there will be music and girls screaming and it's a lot. We have to prepare." I sighed. I was tired and tired of this. All I could think was ten digit numbers, all jumbled in my head like a strange kindergarten math page. "Fine." I said slowly settling back against the couch and ready for their next punch or throw. 

-*

The event itself; was a lot as she said. Good thing she threw the curveballs at me because I was freaking out and we werent even inside the building. 

"What if someone hears him?" I asked as the two of us power walked towards the front. One of us faster than the other too I might add. "What if someone recognizes me from the picture?"

"He will whisper it, no one can hear but you." She answered flawlessly. "The picture dissapeared. They will always dissapear unless you two fuck up bigtime."

"But what if I can't hear him?" I asked again seconds later. 

"Will you stop?" She laughed, lacing her arm with mine. "Just remember everything we practiced." 

I rolled my eyes at the monumental task ahead of me. 

She kept her arm laced as we waited, waited some more, and finally entered the room they would come. 

"Alright when they come out, most of them will scream." She whispered at me, speaking of people within possible earshot. "Don't stare at him too much. Look at the other boys. Youll build it up in your head and trust me, youll leave this room and completely forget it because he is just so damn cute." She paused when I smirked, raising my eyebrows and crossing my arms to look at her. "I'm just saying." She whispered, shaking her statement away with an embarrased smile. 

We had to wait a while for them to arrive. I had to use the restroom but was NOT going to tell Mission Impossible Director over here because my boyfriend and I would be broken up again and I would either need to wait the company out - or go to him and make the contact. I didn't feel like waiting any longer and since they were already doing the meet and greet .... 

A speaker gave feedback and the place erupted into cheers. This was the first I had seen of him, in the flesh, as his other. I never got to see this side of him - I saw many sides like the bruises from practice, and smiles when talking about the fans. 

He was the third one out and I was surprised he didn't start searching for me with his eyes. I recognized one of men from the meeting - but per advice of the woman standing beside me I had dyed my hair and it was styled differently.  
I reminded myself not to stare, and my eyes were forced to look away, settling back at rhe top of the table as I analyzed each boy. 

They all seemed happy and carefree. Excited to be there, the whole spheil. My boyfriends eyes roamed quickly, missing me completely before he spoke a nice hello message into his mic. He laugher at something another one of the boys said, and I learned it was impossible for me to look away. He was captivating; I was caught. 

"Hey." She whispered, hitting my arm with her own. "Remember the plan." She elbowed my arm again. 

"I do." I argued, finally able to tear my eyes away to argue. "I got this." I laughed at her. 

"Look at me." She instructed with a slow smile as I turned to look at her. "If you know what color shirt he is wearing you are not sticking to the plan." 

"Oh is he here?" I asked, placing my hand on my heart with an open eye roll. "Seriously." I huffed, my eyes going to him - my stomach jumping to my chest when he locked eyes with me. He registered it was me and amazingly, didnt react. He looked away, looked down for a moment and fixed his clothing for a moment. He smiled to himself - and looked up quickly directly at me and looking away. 

Once the line started moving - the girlfriend got excited. She started barely dancing in place and was basically my sister in public. 

"Gosh." I laughed, covering my eyes and looking down. 

"Watch it or I'll sing." She said, never missing a half side step. 

Finally, we were one behind. She was to after me, and I was very nervous as I waited for the man to tell me I was able to collect my autographs. I went to the first boy - who recognized me. I don't think the second knew. 

"Hi." I smiled loudly. 

"Hi." He laughed, leaning forward. 

"I hope you have been well beautiful." He smiled. 

FOCUS. I screamed to myself. 

"You ready?" He asked. I nodded a squeak. 

"Yes." I whispered. 

Without hesitstion or a look around - he whispered the numbers. He smiled, sitting back and scribbling his name like a mad painter, the next boy looking at him strangely. 

I repeated it, over and over. I had 4 more to attempt to at least say Hi. 

Nunber 5 was glaring. He was mad, and my one time Proud Grandpa was pouting. 

We made it out of the room and once the BTS music stopped, I felt my brain could breathe. I struggled to get my phone out of my purse to plug the number in.

"What's the number?" She asked in a challenge. 

I typed it into my phone that had finally boot up and flashed her the screen as I began to walk for the exit. 

"Ahhh!" She yelled hugging me, jumping up and down. "You did it!" 

"So what just text him?" I whispered and she rolled her eyes. 

"He's busy right now." She smiled. "Let's go have a late lunch." 

-*

I texted him on the way to lunch. 

He only responded that I had broken a rule. 

I laughed to myself, responding into my text to question what I had done. He said that I had stolen from him.

What?!

In response, I reminded him that he gave me the blue soft sweater. 

He took awhile to respond but the heartwarming message from the man I love made everything worth while. 

His response? 

You stole my heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The boy I had in mind : Taehyung 
> 
> Tehehe don't tell Yoongi. 
> 
> THANK YOU FOR READING!!!

**Author's Note:**

> I hope yall are enjoying.


End file.
